There’s A Tiny Bit Of Snow, And The East Coast Has Lost Its Mind

Snow (Credit: Shutterstock)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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In case you weren’t already aware, there’s a slight dusting of snow currently on the East Coast, and people are behaving like it’s the apocalypse.

Give me a break. It’s just snow. It’s not a nuclear explosion and the world certainly ending. If you ever wonder why the country is going to hell, look no further than Washington, D.C.

The “elites” that pride themselves on being better than everybody are scared of a little bit of snow. Let’s still totally trust these people to run the country. They seem like rational individuals.

I was at a bar yesterday after work with a few coworkers. The place was buzzing with the possibility of snow arriving today. You would have though they were preparing for an invasion along the lines of Red Dawn. It’s laughable how weak people are when it starts snowing. I’m pretty sure the people on the East coast also automatically lose their ability to drive the moment a snowflake hits the ground.

There is honestly nothing funnier to me than the way people here react. I grew up in Wisconsin. I embrace the cold and the darkness. It feels like home. To kind of rework what Bane so eloquently said, “I was born in the cold, moulded by it. I didn’t feel the warmth until I was already a man. The cold and snow betray you, because they belong to me!”

There were days so cold growing up that being outside with exposed skin could result in your blood crystalizing in a matter of seconds. Ladies and gentlemen, I still didn’t complain. I embraced the chaos. People here, who so desperately want to believe they’re elite and better than the rest of the world, freak out the moment the ground gets a little wet.

I weep for the future of our country.

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