It’s Bewildering That ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ Keeps Crushing

(Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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I already lampooned “Fifty Shades Freed” earlier in the week, but apparently I don’t know anything about women and movies.

The movie has continued to crush at the box office, which is bewildering to me. The Hollywood Reporter reported the following:

Universal’s Fifty Shades Freed is sizzling at the global box office, where it’s on course to post a global debut of $140 million.

The threequel closes out the female-fueled film franchise based on the BDSM-laced novels by E.L. James. On Friday, the movie series jumped the $1 billion mark in worldwide ticket sales, an impressive showing considering the three films cost a combined $150 million to produce (that doesn’t include marketing costs).

Am I taking crazy pills over here? What the hell is going on? I don’t know anybody who is going to see this movie. Not a single one. I know plenty of people that watched the first one. It was an international spectacle, so that made sense. People still seeing this movie is mind-blowing.

It makes no sense. Do people enjoy paying for poor acting, poor plot and a movie that’s just painfully bad? And don’t even try to tell me that people are seeing it for the sex appeal. That’s an absurd notion. There’s porn on the internet with better character development than these movies.

Maybe I just don’t know anything about women. I understand that’s a super hard thing for people to believe, but perhaps it’s the truth. Maybe, as a 25 year old dude, I have no idea what is going on with the female population. Is that possible? No it’s not, which leaves these movies still being so popular just strange to me.

Somebody at the office suggested I should go see “Fifty Shades Freed” just to get a sense of what was going on. I laughed them off, but I’m starting to think I’m missing something here. The whole situation makes zero sense.

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