Snowflake Crusaders Are Taking Down Sony For Food Allergy Bullying

Jena Greene Reporter
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When I awoke this morning, I knew not what the day held. It was drizzly, a temperate 58 degrees outside, and a renewed sense of optimism for the week ahead stirred within me. Let’s make this Monday count, I said to myself over a cup of coffee.

I must have forgotten that these days, there’s no such thing as making certain days, people or things count. They must all count the same, and if you single something — ANYTHING — out in 2018, prepare to be peppered with picketers.

Sony Pictures Entertainment learned that the hard way this weekend. Because on February 9th it released “Peter Rabbit,” a film adapted from Beatrix Potter’s children’s books about a family of rabbits and their life in Mr. McGregor’s garden. The rabbits spend their days hatching plans to rid humans from their garden — and in one scene, they lob blackberries at a particularly feisty man who’s allergic to the fruit. The man is forced to use an epipen to prevent anaphylaxis and the bunnies go home victorious that day.

But not everyone was laughing.

Outraged viewers issues urgent ****warnings**** to anyone who would listen.

Someone even found a girl who supposedly died from a blackberry allergy.

And — this is how you know you’ve stepped in it — it looks like the Food Allergy Arsenal will be knocking on Sony’s door with an enraged post about such insensitivity.

Now some people might say that this is an example of PC culture gone too far but I’m firmly in the Food Allergy Arsenal camp. How DARE Sony make light of a blackberry allergy? Is this humanity’s next big plight? In the medieval ages, plague was our biggest problem. Fast forward to the 1700’s, religious persecution. The 19th century saw cruel and unregulated labor. In the 20th century, mass genocide and bloody world wars. Now, in the 21st century, it’s not ISIS, humanitarian trainwrecks in South America, North Korea, or Africa. It’s food allergy bullying. I don’t know how we let it get this far.

As a matter of fact, shut down all health classes that mention epipens. Take peanut butter off the shelves. And for the love of all that is holy, kill ALL THE BEES in the world. This atrocity must be stopped.

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Jena Greene