Today is International Women’s Day, and that’s a reason to celebrate if I’ve ever heard of one.
Most people know that I’m the epitome of masculinity in modern day America. I can throw a football clean over the rockies, I love cold beer, I’ve been called a football savant, I’ve pursued many different women, I’ve shot my shot at plenty, failed just as much I’ve succeed, I’m tempting to take over the internet, I’ve got a big enough arsenal to invade a small country and I love America. Like I said, I’m all about the modern day masculinity.
However, that doesn’t mean I’m not in touch with women and my feminine side. Women, especially the hot ones, are the greatest. What do we do in the football offseason? Check out hot models on Instagram, obviously. We can’t do that without our wonderful women around the world.
You know what else American women are really great at? Dominating women around the world in pretty much every single thing you can think of. Basketball? Check. Hockey? Bringing that gold home sure felt good. We also have the hottest women on the planet.
That doesn’t mean I don’t take time to recognize women around the world. First off, the women in the Israeli military are some of the most badass women on the planet. Secondly, there are plenty of hot foreign models that are also worth celebrating. Josephine Skriver is an obvious one that comes to mind.
We’re also not here to celebrate all those damn feminists running around protesting nonstop. You think the women of the IDF have time to lounge around and protest while putting rounds down range? Of course not. They’re too busy taking out the trash. We celebrate the women dominating the world. Not the ones who just slap themselves with a label and blame men for everything. You wanna be the man then I suggest you take out the man. That’s the championship mentality.
I don’t know how I’ll celebrate the big day. I’m kind of an open book, but I think maybe popping a few beers, scrolling through Instagram, maybe hitting on a few gals would be what women around the world would want.
Shoutout to all the great women out there and major props to the models that brighten our day up on a regular basis.