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We’re Blessed To Live In An Era Where Leaders Threaten War Over Twitter

(Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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Ladies and gentlemen, President Donald Trump’s Twitter game is once again out of control, and you have no sense of humor if you’re not loving 2018.

I went to a baseball game last night, had a few too many beers, woke up this morning with a mild hangover and saw that Trump tweeted, “Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and ‘smart!’ You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!”

I thought I was dreaming at first, but the tweet was very real.

Now, there are going to be lots of pundits and “experts” on television today who are going to try to tell the world that this was very dumb. Don’t listen to them. They probably had no friends growing up, and likely just hate their lives.

This is awesome. You couldn’t write a movie script this entertaining. I had no idea what a Trump presidency would be like, but it’s surpassed my wildest expectations. The man is threatening to bomb Syria on Twitter! It’s the same social media platform that teenagers post videos of themselves eating tide pods and snorting condoms. What a wild time to be alive.

It’s truly a shame that Twitter didn’t exist during WWII or the Civil War. Imagine if Truman hopped on before we dropped to atomic bombs on Japan and just fired off, “New bombs are coming to Japan! Very big and beautiful bombs! Get ready!”

Also, why is “smart” in parentheses? Did some general explain to Trump how cruise missiles and smart bombs work, and he just instantly tweeted it as a quote? I don’t know the answer, but I’m dying to find out.

I really thought Trump’s tweet calling Kim Jong Un fat would never be outdone, and yet, here we are in April of 2018. President Trump has to fire off a “Told you I’d do it,” tweet the moment after the bombs land. Keep it short and simple.

I’m so happy to be living in 2018, and I hope you’re all enjoying this as much as I am. What an outstanding time in world history. We’re all lucky to be witnesses.

P.S.: the “South Park” episodes about this whole situation are going to be lit.

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