While fatherhood organizations like the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) and National Center for Fathering (NCF) worked hard to resolve the father absence crisis for the last three decades, they have also misinformed the public with incorrect data and withheld vital information on how they conducted the research on father absence.
Yes, father absence exists, but not to the degree fatherhood researchers and organizations claim it does. Furthermore, here is a short list of truths about father absence that has been withheld from the public.
Truth #1: There is no clear definition of father absence.
In 1995, David Blankenhorn fueled a national father absence campaign with his book Fatherless America. While his book did an excellent job cataloguing the issues and problems associated with a father’s absence in the raising of a child, the book didn’t provide a clear definition of father absence.
Pew Research confirmed that no conclusive definition of father absence exists and that the interpretation of father absence varies with each study.
With out a clear definition of father absence how is it possible to collect the correct data? How can any person or researcher make a judgment call on whether a father is really emotionally absent? How is it possible to measure the true scope of father absence? And who should have the authority to judge whether a dad is emotionally absent?
Truth #2: There has been no research on what causes father absence.
Fathers are not solely to blame for father absence. There are many other possible factors. Some examples include maternal gatekeeping, the legal system, especially in divorce, custody cases and paternity status and rights.
In 1999, the National Council on Family relations published a journal about maternal gatekeeping. The title alone demonstrates how it is possible for a mom’s over zealous participation to contribute to father absence – Maternal Gatekeeping: Mothers’ Beliefs and Behaviors That Inhibit Greater Father Involvement in Family Work by Sarah M. Allen and Alan J. Hawkins (Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 61, No. 1 (Feb., 1999), pp. 199-212.)
According to most state laws, if a mother is not married at the time a child is born and has not been married any time during the preceding 10 months, no father will be named on the birth certificate unless both parents file sworn statements or unless so ordered by a court of competent jurisdiction.
Even if a mother lists the father on the application, it will not make it onto the actual birth certificate without the father’s signature on a legal acknowledgement of paternity form. Ultimately, the decision of whether to include a baby’s father’s name on the birth certificate is a personal decision made solely by the mother, which is a strangely high degree of power with far-reaching implications.
What about the mom who has full knowledge of the man who helped her conceive the baby, yet still refuses to identify him and place his name on the birth certificate?
What about the mom who gave birth to a child but didn’t know the father?
What about the father who didn’t know he was the father?
What about dads who filed for divorce and live in a different house? Does his physical separation from a child constitute labeling him as an absent father? We believe the answer is “no” because there is evidence to prove that dads who live in the house are also capable of being emotionally absent.
Truth #3: Since the early 1990s, there is sufficient evidence to show how much father presence has grown in America.
In 1986 Dr. Bruce Linton founded the Father’s Forum, a program for expectant dads. That is eight years before the debut of the NFI and nine years before Blankenhorn’s book – Fatherless America.
Dr. Linton’s success spawned other expectant dads groups to prosper like Boot Camp for New Dads (BCND) founded by Greg Bishop in 1990. BCND started with one program in Irvine, California. Today, BCND is offered in 45 states.
In 1994 the first active Dads Club at an elementary school debuted at El Camino Elementary School in Irvine, California. Today, there are thousands of Dad Club Chapters throughout the USA.
The National At-Home Dad Network founded in 1995, a year after the NFI debuted, has the distinct honor of hosting the second longest consecutive fatherhood convention in the USA and in 2018 the NAHDN will host their 23nd Annual Convention.
City Dads Group was founded in 2008 and now manages other groups in 32 major US cities.
In the last two decades the Dad Blogger industry has grown exponentially. There is also an annual Dad Bloggers event called Dad 2.0 Summit, founded by Doug French and John Pacini in 2012.
Truth #4: Our fathers before us have been given a bad rap.
Researchers describe dads of previous generations as less than capable to care for and nurture a child and also accused them of not spending enough time with their kids. How is it possible for researchers to measure a dad’s level of involvement at a time when they were not alive to evaluate the dads and, more importantly, also accuse fathers of any generation as being absent without a clear definition of father absence?
In previous generations dads and moms were designated with specific gender roles established by our culture. Dads played the role of the primary breadwinner and mom the primary caregiver. However, as far back as 1971 there is evidence of dads who chose to be the primary caregiver for their family. This is documented in the movie Duel. In the beginning of the movie while the main character Dennis Weaver is driving his car, a radio interview is heard in the background about an at-home dad.
Truth #5: The responsible, active dads far outnumber the irresponsible, absent dads.
The good people in this world far outnumber the bad people. Therefore, it would be fair to make the same statement with respect to fathers that the responsible, active fathers far outnumber the irresponsible and absent fathers.
Given these truths it’s time for fatherhood organizations and researchers to stop playing the father absence card and redirect their attention on the vast majority of good, responsible, active dads who represent fatherhood at its best.
Hogan Hilling and Tom Konency are co-owners of Dad Marketing Consulting, LLC, and authors of, “DADLY Dollar$: How Marketing to Dads Will Increase Revenue and Strengthen Families.” Hilling is also a nationally recognized and OPRAH approved author of 12 published books.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.