Manischewitz Sends Speaker Ryan A Goodie Box Of Jewish Delicacies
Manischewitz, a popular distributor of food and cheap, low alcohol wine you drink once a year, is celebrating Speaker Paul Ryan‘s (R-Wis.) recent revelation on PBS’s “Finding Your Roots” that he’s a little Jewish. Specifically, he’s three percent Ashkenazi Jewish.
In real life, Ryan is a practicing Roman Catholic.
But seriously. The company that hails as the largest marketer of kosher foods in North America is sending Ryan a welcome basket with matzo, macaroons, gefilte fish and more.
The company made sure to add a legal line that Ryan won’t be used to push their products: “This package was given as a gift and in no way implies a brand endorsement by Paul Ryan.”
CEO David Sugarman included a list of “top 10 tips and tricks” on Jewish culture. They’re kind of terrible and corny but you get the idea.
Knowing the Yiddish basics will be essential.
Make sure to clear your calendar on Friday nights or Saturday mornings for Shabbat
Learn some Hebrew…or at least the phonetics (going to need to keep up during the high holidays).
Be prepared to gain a few pounds, Jewish grandmothers will never believe you when you say you’re full.
The greatest compliment you can get is to be called a mensch.
Catch up on Seinfeld and every Mel Brooks movie.
If you think you need a sweater, take one, you never know
Make sure to learn the hora because if you don’t, you may get injured (it can get really fast-paced).
Be sure to memorize every famous Jewish person, great conversation starters.
Give your grandparents something to brag about, there is nothing they love more.
Update: A publicist wrote to explain to me that the wine arm of the company is different from the food arm. Speaker Ryan’s package came strictly from the food arm of the company.