The Mirror

Tucker Carlson Mocks Erik Wemple’s ‘Monkey’ Typing


Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
Font Size:

I’m starting to think WaPo‘s “reported” media blogger Erik Wemple has a giant man crush on Fox News host Tucker Carlson. That, or he has no sense of humor — or just no sense, really.

Wemple has always had it in for Carlson. The pair have never liked each other as long as I’ve known them both.

“No exaggeration, the single dumbest person in journalism,” Carlson told The Mirror Thursday.

The clinching moment of no return for Wemple seemed to come in February, 2017, after he appeared on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” and carried himself like a small, frightened child who was badly in need of a hug or an ice cream cone.

(See the photographic evidence of Wemple on Carlson’s show above if you’re in need of a reminder.)

On Thursday, Wemple published a story about a lawsuit involving Carlson and ex-Daily Caller contributor Evan Gahr. Gahr took Carlson to small claims court and the case was settled. Wemple, as usual, had no self-awareness of how idiotic he sounds when he talks with Carlson or when he discusses his own blog in “we” form.

“As a matter of full disclosure, Gahr also delighted in needling the Erik Wemple Blog and our wife,” he wrote, referring to Mother JonesStephanie Mencimer.

Is Wemple in a marriage with more than one person?

Even Wemple’s buddy Alex Pareene felt the need to write a piece with some hardcore advice after he appeared on Carlson’s show: “Don’t Volunteer to be Ambushed on Television.” Pareene falsely described Wemple as a “smart man,” which is definitely debatable. Despite writing an entire story saying Wemple should’ve been smart enough to not go on Carlson’s show, he called him “smart,” which lacks common sense.

(As an aside, Pareene once got very upset with me for describing him as a boy who digs for worms. The 2006 story was for The Hill. Pareene and David Lat were beginning their stint as Wonkette co-writers: “The most disarming characteristic of the new Wonkettes, David Lat and Alex Pareene, is that they look and sometimes act like 12-year-olds,” I wrote. “You half-expect them to suggest an outing digging for worms in Rock Creek Park or skateboarding on the National Mall.”)

Getting back to Wemple’s Thursday piece, when Wemple refused to go off the record — which is fair, what reporter wants that? — Carlson began blatantly insulting him, which Wemple then used in his story.

“Oh, I’m always so glad to hear your voice,” said Carlson, asking to go off-record. After we refused, he said, ‘That’s totally fine. I would love to talk to you. I have a lot of thoughts about you and the shoddy brand of journalism that you practice, which is really political consulting … You’re typing away like a monkey. I love it.'”

Again with the ridiculous “we.” Why is wimpy Wemple incapable of writing “I”? Is he a co-joined twin and somehow we’ve all just missed that over the years? Or more likely, is he afraid to stand on his own?

What Wemple doesn’t grasp is how stupid he looks. Despite it being New York Times style, and not one that The Washington Post employs, on TV and in his pieces, Wemple likes to refer to Carlson as “Mr. Carlson.” On the show he was “MISTER Carlson.” The angrier Wemple gets, the longer and louder that “MISSSSTER” becomes.

Carlson replied more seriously to Mediaite, which really must have burned Wemple up. Carlson said, “Evan Gahr has a documented history of severe mental illness and of making delusional and factually untrue statements. This is a matter of public record. The Washington Post was aware of this, but made no mention of it in its article. That is dishonest and irresponsible.”

On Twitter, Wemple wrote the following reaction to Mediaite and TheWrap getting an on-the-record response.

Sorry, Wemple, but no amount of “Misters” in your tweets will ever gain you the respect you’re seeking.