Check Out This National Hero Stealing Five Cases Of Beer From A Convenience Store
One unsung hero is making the rounds on social media after completing the beer haul of the decade.
WFAA tweeted out a photo of a man making a run for it after stealing five cases of Bud Light from a convenience store in Arlington, Texas. Just how epic is the photo? Well, I think it’s safe to say he deserves a medal more than handcuffs if he’s ever identified and caught. Check out the shot below.
(Illegal) beer run! Arlington police are searching for this guy who managed to grab five cases of beer from a convenience store and flee the scene. pic.twitter.com/gm4MbtcqUW
— WFAA (@wfaa) October 17, 2018
How could anybody be upset about this? Look at the arms and carrying technique. He went full extension to get those five cases out the door as quickly as he could!
He also didn’t steal any of that plutocratic beer the snobby rich people drink. He chose to snatch up five cases of presumably ice cold Bud Light. That’s a true working class man’s beer. Trust me, for those of us who grew up in the coal mines and hollers, there’s nothing better than a cold Miller Lite or Bud Light at the end of the day. That’s how I know this guy is one of mine. (RELATED: Is It Anti-American To Hate Shower Beers?)
Obviously, the police have a job do to. I have no doubt they’re scouring Texas like Al Capone was on the run there. It’s probably the Alamo 2.0 for them.
For the rest of us, we’re sitting here hoping like hell this man made it home, threw a party for the ages and is living his best life.
Plus, this dude would be a hero in jail. Some dudes are in for murder. Others are in for trying to wet their whistles. If I was the judge in the case, I’d hit him with a small fine and wink on his way out the door to let him know some of us in America still respect a man’s right to drink beer.
May God bless this man and may his beers be cold. Sometimes us little guys who grew up with nothing and have to steal to get ahead need a win too.