In Tragic News For Guys Around The World, Emma Watson Reportedly Has A New Boyfriend

David Hookstead | Reporter

Emma Watson isn’t single anymore.

According to Page Six, the “Harry Potter” star was recently spotted in Mexico with her new boyfriend Brendan Wallace. (SLIDESHOW: These Women On Instagram Hate Wearing Clothes)

Do you hear that sound in the distance? That’s the sound of millions of men crying out in disappointment that the woman of their childhood dreams is officially off the market. (SLIDESHOW: 142 Times Josephine Skriver Barely Wore Anything)

There are two kinds of men in this world: men who had a crush on Emma Watson during her “Harry Potter” days and men who are liars. There are no other categories. (SLIDESHOW: 71 Times Samantha Hoopes Stripped Down)

 

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This honestly breaks my heart. Here I am building an internet empire and Watson has decided to run off with some tech genius. You know, the world really isn’t fair. What do I have to do before I can get the time of day? Do I have to be valued north of a billion dollars or something? It just doesn’t make a ton of sense. (SLIDESHOW: This Blonde Bombshell Might Be The Hottest Model On The Internet)

 

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Also, I’m sure a bunch of you hardos are about to jump into the comment section telling me Emma Watson isn’t attractive. Save it. You need to do some serious soul searching if you think she’s not a good-looking woman. (SLIDESHOW: 60 Times Abigail Ratchford Wore Almost Nothing)

 

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Again, it’s time for you to think long and hard if you ever utter the words that she’s not rocking the world with her looks.

In the meantime, let’s all crack one open to drown out our sorrows.

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