It’s So Cold In Wisconsin That Bars Are Closing, Alcohol Shipments Halted
The cold weather is officially a problem for people in Wisconsin.
That’s correct. The situation is so severe in Wisconsin that they’ve stopped serving booze to the locals! Ladies and gentlemen, you know we have a problem on our hands when the good people of the Badger State can’t have an ice cold Miller Lite. (SLIDESHOW: These Are The Greatest Women On Instagram)
I’m not one to panic when it comes to things that happen in life, but it might be time to call it a day when the beer shipments aren’t hitting the roads.
Forget about food and water. I can hunt and melt snow if it comes to it. Don’t worry about my people back home when it comes to getting their hands on those two resources.
However, it’s a whole different ball game if they can’t get some frosty brews to drink as they wait out the weather.
If there was ever a time for Trump to call a national emergency, it’s right now. We should get every military aircraft we have into the air, and we should start airdropping pallets of Miller Lite throughout the state.
This is a dire situation, and dire times call for extreme actions. I want this air operation to make the Berlin Airlift look like a joke.
For everybody back home, stay safe and ration what little Miller Lite you might have left in your reserves. I will do everything I can to get those planes in the air as quickly as I can. I’ll be damned if I let -50 degree weather deprive my state of their God given right to drink beer.