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Who Wrote The Poetry: Beto or Yoko?


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Nolan Parisi Contributor
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Former Democratic Texas Rep. and 2020 presidential candidate Robert (Beto) O’Rourke sparked national interest and confusion after one of his old poems from high school surfaced earlier this month.

The bizarre poem titled “Song of the Sacred Cow” depicts sexual fantasies involving a cow.

As the stanzas read, “Buff my balls/ Love the cow/ Good fortune for those who do … Wax my ass/ Scrub my balls/ The Cow has risen … Thrust your hooves up my analytic passage/ Enjoy my fruits.”

O’Rourke responded to the Chicago Tribune about his past poetry and said, “I’m mortified to read it now — incredibly embarrassed — but I have to take ownership of my words. . . . It’s not anything I’m proud of today and, I mean, that’s the long and short of it.”

O’Rourke is also dealing with controversy over his involvement in a well-known hacking group as a teenager. Reuters revealed that the46-year-old politician admitted in an interview with Joseph Menn that he was once part of a “hacktivist” group called the Cult of the Dead Cow.

As part of their initiation test, new potential members had to write T-file essays and post them on an online bulletin board. O’Rourke wrote multiple T-files, one of which discussed hitting a child with a car.

“As I neared the young ones, I put all my weight on my right foot, keeping the accelerator pedal on the floor until I heard the crashing of the two children on the hood, and then the sharp cry of pain from one of the two.” O’Rourke wrote. (RELATED: Beto Wrote Murder Fantasy Where Narrator Drives Over Children On The Street)

It’s ironic that O’Rourke writes about hitting people with his car considering that in 1998, he was arrested for drunk driving and allegedly hit a truck and attempted to flee the scene. (RELATED: WITNESS: Beto Tried To Flee Drunk Driving Scene After Causing High Speed Crash)

But all this controversy aside, Beto’s poetry may have some promise. Would you be able to tell the difference between his poetry and Yoko Ono’s? Put your skills to the test:

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