Why Is Langley Hiding ‘Agent Penis’ From Us?

Betsy Rothstein | Reporter

The CIA may be hiding the funniest code name in Washington.

A 58-year-old woman is facing criminal charges after trying to enter CIA Headquarters three times, all the while insisting that she was there to apply for a job.

In early May, Jennifer G, Rodriquez told the cops she was there to meet up with a recruiter. She’s a modern criminal – she arrived twice using Uber and Lyft. On May 3, she asked to talk to “Agent Penis,” according to a new report from NBC4 in Washington.

The Mirror phoned the CIA public relations office to inquire about the agent, whose name allegedly rhymes with Venus. Unlike many Capitol Hill flacks, one at Langley actually answered her phone. A polite-sounding woman, when asked if there was an employee there who goes by the nickname  “Agent Penis,” she paused for a few seconds and replied, “Nooooo-huh?”

During Rodriguez’s third trip to the CIA, things went south quickly. Police gave her an ID card she wanted and then escorted her to a bus. “Do you really think I’m going to leave?” she asked them.

That was the wrong thing to say. They arrested her on the spot.

While “Agent Penis” remains a mystery, Rodriguez is weaving her way through the judicial system. Police are holding her in an  Alexandria jail cell on a Class B misdemeanor. If convicted, she faces up to 180 days in jail and a $2000 fine.

The Secret Service has a slew of code names for those they protect. For instance, according to online reports, former first lady Jackie Kennedy was “Lace,” John F. Kennedy Jr. was “Lark,” and former first lady Betty Ford was “Pinafore.” Who can resist these? Barbara and Jenna Bush were “Turqoise” and “Twinkle.” Sasha and Malia Obama were “Rosebud” and “Radiance.” Others include: Ronald Reagan (“Rawhide”), former first lady Hillary Clinton (“Evergreen”) and former President Bill Clinton (“Eagle”).

The current administration is as follows: President Trump apparently wanted his code name to be “Humble,” but was given “Mogul” instead. First lady Melania Trump is “Muse.”

The CIA is located in McLean, Va. While much of Washington is open to the public for tours, the CIA is not. A limited number of academic and civic groups are permitted to visit annually.

Rodriguez can take the online tour if she wishes.

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