Editorial

Florida Woman Arrested For Allegedly Squeezing Her Boyfriend’s Testicles To The Point They Were Bleeding

Police Car Lights (Credit/Shutterstock FedeCandoniPhoto)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief

Florida woman Katie Lee Pitchford might be in some serious trouble after a recent arrest involving her boyfriend.

According to a police report obtained by the Miami Herald Monday, Pitchford was arrested by Indian Harbour Beach police officers after she allegedly attacked her boyfriend, but this sounds like it wasn’t some minor altercation. (SLIDESHOW: These Women On Instagram Hate Wearing Clothes)

Pitchford has been accused of squeezing her boyfriend’s testicles to the point they were bleeding, bruising and making his face bloody as well as choking him to the point he couldn’t breathe. She maintains there was no physical contact, but a verbal argument did occur. (SLIDESHOW: 142 Times Josephine Skriver Barely Wore Anything)

She’s currently being held without bond.

First off, Pitchford’s mugshot was a bit of a smoke show picture. That might sound crazy given what she’s been accused of doing, but facts are facts. You can see it here.

Secondly, if she’s found guilty of actually squeezing this dude’s testicles until they were bleeding, then you can’t ever let this woman out of jail. You just can’t do it!

That’s some next level crazy. As a guy who has to deal with my fair share of women who could do anything at the drop of a hat and witnessed it from girlfriends of my friends, this is too wild for even my standards. This is about a mile past the line of what I could even imagine having to go through, and I’ve seen some stuff that could curl even the straightest of hair.

Allegedly hitting a guy in the face to the point it’s bloody is one thing, and totally unacceptable. Touching a dude’s testicles in an attempt to harm him should get you walked straight to solitary confinement for a few decades.

I’d rather deal with a guy in ISIS in a firefight than a woman trying to rip my testicles off.

I don’t know who this dude is, but I can physically feel pain for him just reading about his alleged injuries. I’d rather be dead than dealing with what he allegedly went through.

Best of luck to Pitchford. She better start praying like hell the judge assigned to her case isn’t a man.

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