Adult Entertainment Company Déjà Vu Services Pledges Strippers To Help In Area 51 Raid

Strippers (Credit: Shutterstock/BlueSkyImage)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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Adult entertainment company Déjà Vu Services will be involved in a raid on Area 51 if one goes down.

There has been nonstop chatter online for awhile now about more than a million people trying to storm the secretive military base in September to find aliens. The event page has been removed from Facebook, but that doesn’t mean the event won’t go down. When/if it does, the company will be happy to assist. (SLIDESHOW: These Women On Instagram Hate Wearing Clothes)

The director of operations for Déjà Vu Services, Ryan Clarkson, told KSNV in an article published Saturday:

Come September 20, we’ll be there. We know that most Americans know: that strippers make any event better, and this one will be no exception…We don’t know if there’s aliens at Area 51, but if there are, they’ll be entertained upon their rescue, along with any party-goers that attend.

My friends, this is why America is great. We didn’t drop two atomic bombs on the Japanese in order to win WWII so that women could come home to cover up. (SLIDESHOW: 142 Times Josephine Skriver Barely Wore Anything)

We beat the Axis powers so that strippers and ordinary Americans could come together to storm Area 51. This is the reality our founding fathers dreamed of. (SLIDESHOW: 71 Times Samantha Hoopes Stripped Down)

Do I think storming Area 51 is incredibly dumb and a great way to get yourself killed? Yes, I 100% absolutely do.

It’d be a bloodbath of epic proportions. The military would get a day of free target practice.

Having said that, having strippers there is a genius idea. There is no chance the sharpshooters will open fire on hot women.

They just won’t. Mowing down a bunch of fat guys who haven’t seen sunlight in years is one thing. Opening fire on some babes is a PR disaster waiting to happen.

Use the strippers as cover, run behind them and hope for the best. It’s the only strategy that has a fighting chance. Otherwise, the clowns who show up will be dead upon arrival.