YEARLY REMINDER: Avoid Women Who Hate Football Like The Plague

Football and women (Credit: Shutterstock/dml5050)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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Gentlemen, I’m here to give you your yearly reminder that women who hate football should be avoided at all costs.

College football is already underway and the NFL begins Thursday night. If there was ever a time for this message to be reenforced, it’s right now. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

Women who hate football should be deported. They’re awful and have no place in society. That might sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

If we don’t deport them, then they’ll reproduce. They won’t reproduce champions. They’ll give birth to people who also hate football. That can’t be tolerated.

Let them go live in communist China. Let them live on the moon. Let them live anywhere other than here. America has no room for people who hate football and by extension also hate freedom.

If a woman ever texts you to do anything other than watch football during a game, then dump her on the spot.

You might think this is me just being a guy. You probably think a woman wouldn’t ever try to stop a guy from watching his game.

You’d be wrong. You’d be very wrong. I’ve had women try to stop me from watching football, hockey, March Madness and other sporting events.

Learn from my experiences. If they don’t know how to identify the 3-4 base defense or can’t describe what the read option is, then they’re just not the one for you.

Hell, if they can’t catch a beautiful deep pass running a fly right, I’d also say they’re not for you, but that’s really cranking it up.

The point here is, folks, find yourself a woman who can run the read option, identify the base defenses, read the coverages and knows there’s nothing better than a burger and a beer on game day.

If you can’t find that, then at least find a woman who doesn’t hassle you during the game and is support of your team.

This is day one stuff, but I always have to remind you all. You’re welcome and good luck!