The Mirror

ABC’s Chief Political Analyst Should Keep Day Job, Leave Sunday Divinity Talk To Joel Osteen

YouTube/Screenshot/ABC

Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger

ABC’s Chief Political Correspondent Matthew Dowd gets the award for most irritating tweet of the weekend. Which is a hell of a contest to win with the likes of CNN’s Brian Stelter and NYU journalism professor Jay Rosen in the running.

On Sunday morning at 7:59 a.m., Dowd felt the need to express this to the masses.

Is it deep? No.

Is it well-written? No.

Does it make me want to stop whatever I’m doing and go to the National Arboretum and sniff a “grove of trees”? Again, no. Actually I do want to go there, just without Dowd’s words clouding my head.

Who does he think he is — the Dalai Lama? Oprah? Marianne Williamson?

“How do you get paid so much money to be so stupid?” a Washington journalist friend asked when I alerted the person to Dowd’s Sunday devotional. “How do I learn to be so stupid so I can get the same gig?”

If he were any of those people — even megachurch pastor Joel Osteen — I might be inspired. Instead, I have to see a major network news analyst try his hand at Chicken Soup for the Soul blather that is about as inspiring as a fortune cookie from a Chinese restaurant.

To make matters worse, people seemed to inhale his terrible prose like, oh, I don’t know, shhhhhh a quiet whisper of a moment.

“That’s the thing,” my pal continued. “You wonder how these people make it and then you realize, “OH MY GOD, THERE’S AN AUDIENCE FOR IT.”

Spiritual life strategist Ariaa Jaeger unfortunately encouraged Dowd, writing, “Just encountered the divine in your words and in you. Thank you and good morning to you. You are a blessing.”

The hardest part in all this awfulness is that Dowd then felt the need to thank everyone who praised him for his prolific spiritual barfing.

“Thank you my friend. Onward,” he wrote back to many.

This was his alternative go-to response: “Thank you and Onward my friend.”

I was really hoping this was a one-time deal. That somehow Dowd just felt momentarily moved to play preacher on Twitter.

But no.

On Monday morning, I woke to find this second chalkboard-scratching monstrosity in under 24 hours.

I probably shouldn’t put it this way, but God help us.