Ladies and gentlemen, it’s officially day 36 of coronavirus isolation.
As I always say, I don’t have coronavirus. I don’t want any of you to think that I do, but I’m required to be extra cautious because of health issues I have. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North
Given the stakes, I’ve now been home for 36 days, and I haven’t gone anywhere other than the grocery store to stock up on beer.
See, these are the sacrifices I’m willing to make in order to make sure the football season happens. I literally have not spoken to a woman face-to-face in more than a month.
That’s how committed to this fight. That’s how adamant I am about doing whatever is necessary to save college football.
While you are all isolating and still seeing your friends and significant other, I have chosen to give up relations with the gentler sex for more than a month.
Don’t call me a hero. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a sacrifice that’s necessary to save the soul of America. Doing what’s necessary isn’t a sacrifice.
It’s the bare minimum expectation.
So, keep that in mind next time you think about going outside and messing around with your boys for a few beers instead of socially distancing.
If I can give up female company to save football and make sure the Wisconsin Badgers have a shot at a title, then you can push back partying. Even on my birthday, I’m not going out to party! Props to me.
Against the hopes and wishes of all my critics and haters, I made it to my 28th birthday. Sorry to disappoint!
Also, out of respect for the guys who didn’t take days off during WWII and the coronavirus pandemic, I will not be taking my birthday off. https://t.co/z3Gnw80Z4v
— David Hookstead (@dhookstead) April 17, 2020
I see a lot of people who seem to think it’s not really a big deal if they don’t do their part in this war. That’s selfish, it’s not what America is about and it’s embarrassing.
I’ve now been isolating from coronavirus longer than we fought the Nazis during the Battle of the Bulge. Most men would have quit and broken protocol.
Luckily for all of you, I’m not most men. I’m David Hookstead – King in the North – and I will do my part to make sure we have the season.
Never forget who is the true King in the North when it comes to college football. pic.twitter.com/vtbKyAPdYe
— David Hookstead (@dhookstead) August 10, 2019
If I can give up women and socializing for 36 days, I think you can stay indoors and do your part. Trust me, it’ll all be worth it to watch the Badgers dominate on the gridiron during football season.