Editorial

Here Are The Podcasts That Are Getting Better Ratings Than Joe Biden’s

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Former Vice President Joe Biden created a podcast in late March where he discusses various issues like climate change, COVID-19, and religion. 

Biden’s “Here’s the Deal” podcast is described by the campaign as providing a “voice of clarity during uncertain times” that “will feature in-depth conversations about pressing issues with some of the nation’s top experts.” 

The podcast has featured several guests including Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, Washington Governor Jay Inslee, and former Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang. The campaign says that the podcast is created “with the heart, compassion, and wisdom only Joe can deliver.” (RELATED: Joe Biden Announces Plans To Launch Podcast)

Some praised the podcast, giving it a five-star rating on the Apple podcast app. However, a host of one-star reviews were left, meaning the combined ratings from critics and supporters averaged out to 4.5 stars, which isn’t terrible. But there’s still a lot of podcasts that have better ratings than Joe Biden’s, which feature a variety of bizarre content that’s probably way more entertaining than listening to politicians talk about coronavirus and global warming. Here are a few. 

Twisting The Wind with Johnny Pemberton  

Fans loved this unique comedy podcast, giving it a perfect overall rating of 5 stars. Twisting the Wind, which ran from 2012 – 2017, is described as “an aural experiment in electronic communication featuring live talking interviews with eccentrics and experts as well as phone calls with strangers from all points in the spectrum.” Since reading that description probably gave you an aneurysm, let’s look at the episodes for more insight. 

The episodes are full of riveting and insightful commentary, like exploring “the darlings of fart and the boners of zones” on an episode articulately titled “The Executive Bone Zone.” Another episode is called “A Daddy of Slight Goodness,” and it comes without a description. I’d tell you what’s on it, but I’m too afraid to listen, so feel free to find out for yourself.  

Interesting Sex

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if PornHub was a podcast? Me neither. In this perfect five-star rated show, the host “speaks with guests who have sex worth hearing about.” I’d go into more depth, but I don’t want to, so use your imagination with this one. 

The Dental Hacks Podcast 

Want to learn about the riveting world of dental work? This is the podcast for you! The description assures listeners that “this ain’t your daddy’s dental podcast.” The hosts are “covering the hot topics in dentistry,” and the show is definitely more entertaining than the shitty daytime TV they put on at the dentist’s office while they scrape the plaque off your teeth. 

There’s a wide variety of episodes to choose from, like “The Clinical Hacks do MILFs and DILFs” and “The Clinical Hacks Get High,” which, let’s face it, is enough to make anyone wish they went to dental school. These guys make dental work sound awesome while also being funny and informative — it’s safe to say they earned their 5-star rating.

Muse Stories: The Unusual History of Everything 

The title says it all: Muse Stories is a podcast “for lovers of weird history.” Everything that has a strange history is featured, including Christmas trees, gum, pizza, and ice cream scoops. There’s an episode for everyone – libertarians can hear about the history of taxes to find new and exciting ways to tell people why we need a second revolutionary war, and personally, I’ll be tuning in to episode 1 to find out if garden gnomes are actually as cool as when they were used to store 3 pounds of ecstasy in Project X

If history class was this interesting, I might have actually paid attention, and maybe even gotten a high enough GPA to go to dental school. Another well-deserved five-star podcast.

The Empty Bowl 

The empty bowl is a “meditative podcast about cereal.” Cereal, and other breakfast foods, are discussed in every episode, and the hosts go in-depth about a topic that most people never would have thought about. Tune in to episode 28 where “IHOP pops off” and “Japanese donuts go nuts,” or listen to episode 26 to learn how to “diffuse risky cereal situations.” 

There’s not a single one-star rating for this podcast. User reviews rave about how great it works to put you to sleep, which is funny because I’m pretty sure Trump said the same thing about Joe Biden. If you’d prefer to listen to two guys talk about Pop-Tarts instead of taking an Ambien to go to sleep, this is the show for you! 

Dr. Tim’s Spineless Wonders 

Despite what one might assume at first glance, this podcast isn’t actually about back surgery. The show is “a monthly examination of real-life insect encounters that encourages readers to go beyond what ‘bugs’ them and into the fascinating life of insects.” One episode tells listeners to “consider the advantages” of having an insect as a pet, and another is about the “probability of kissing bugs spreading disease,” which seems to contradict the first point. 

Each episode is about 11 minutes long, which, to the host’s credit, is longer than I’ve ever been able to stay in a room with an insect. The show has just one review, and it’s five-stars from a guy asking the host to make the podcast longer. Either he’s watched “A Bug’s Life” too many times, or he’s onto something. You’ll have to listen to find out. 

AnsweringMachine Podcast

The premise of this show is bizarre, but it turns out pretty interesting. The hosts listen to answering machine messages from a handful of random people and compile stories based on the messages. Episode 1 follows a 22-year-old whose mom thinks he’s a heroin addict, his girlfriend thinks his band is “trying too hard,” and who may have burned down the pizza place he worked at — and they figured all of this out from his answering machine. It’s not clear how they get their hands on the voicemails, but personally, I don’t have to worry, unless the hosts want a riveting story about my unpaid phone bills.