Editorial

Shark Believed To Be Around 18 Feet Long Attacks Kayaker In California

(SHUTTERSTOCK/ Martin Prochazkacz)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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A kayaker in California survived the scare of a lifetime when a shark attacked him.

Michael Thallheimer was kayaking around the Shelter Cove area in California when a great white shark believed to be “16 to 18 foot long” attacked his boat, according to NorthCoastJournal.com.

His kayak eventually sank and he had to be rescued by local fisherman. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

Thallheimer explained the following about the shark attack to NorthCoastJournal.com:

All of a sudden, it was attached to the side of my kayak. I saw a nose and an eyeball with no soul. That animal doesn’t give a sh*t … [The shark bit] right in the middle of the kayak directly next to my knee and thigh, about 6 inches away. I slapped the thing as hard as I could on the end of its nose. As it started to turn, it whipped its tail real hard and hit the kayak. It gave me a good thump [but] it didn’t damage the kayak. I think he was pretty scared. He turned and split as fast as it could.

You can see photos of the damage to his kayak in the links above. It’s absurd. The shark just took a giant bite right out of thing.

People laugh at me because I don’t like swimming in the ocean or going into the ocean. They laugh at me all the time. This right here is why I feel safe and happy with my feet planted on land.

This dude was just out kayaking, enjoying himself, and a great white shark around 18 feet long sunk his boat!

Who the hell wants to get into the ocean and deal with that?

If you get into the ocean and you’re not strapped, you’re a fool. From here on out, if I’m going into the ocean, we’re bringing guns.

If a shark wants to recreate “Jaws,” we can just hold court right then and there. We can bang it out right in the water.

If I’m dying in a shark attack, at least I’m going to go out spraying. You best believe that.

We can’t let the sharks win. We must reclaim the oceans at any and all costs. The day they win is the day “Jaws” becomes real life.

I’ll be damned if I let that happen on my watch.

H/T: BroBible