Editorial

Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee Says Men Need To Drink Less Alcohol

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David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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Men apparently need to stop consuming so much alcohol.

The Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee is advising men to stop drinking so much booze, and that the safe cap on alcohol consumption might be as little as a single drink a day, according to Politico.

The current recommended limit is two drinks a day, but the committee wants that changed to just one. That’s right, folks! (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

After one drink, you’re all done.

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Just one drink? I’m supposed to limit myself to a single drink once I decide to start cracking them open? Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

That’s not going to happen at all. You show me the guy who will stop himself after a single beer, and I’ll show you the guy I have zero interest in partying with.

Look, folks. It’s pretty simple. Life is short and you never know when your ticket might get punched to the afterlife.

Do you really want to show up at the gates of Heaven sober? Last time I checked, Jesus had himself a few glasses of wine along the way.

As for me, I’d rather be dead than give up beer. I don’t really drink during the week to begin with because of my busy empire building schedule, but during football season and weekend summer nights, you best believe the beer is flowing.

Hold the line, gentlemen. The moment we put the beer down is the moment we’re lost as a society.