Disney Will Change Splash Mountain Because Of Ties To The Movie ‘Song Of The South’

(Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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Disney has buckled to the mob and will change the famous Splash Mountain ride.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the company announced Thursday that the famous ride at Disneyland in Orlando would be changed and “retooled.” (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

The move comes after complaints about the ride being tied to the 1946 movie “Song of the South.”

Congrats, guys! We did it! We finally stuck it to those dirty pigs at Disney! We finally got them for (quickly looks at my notes) making a ride that’s meant to get kids wet!

Clearly, this was an injustice that just couldn’t stand. I’m honestly surprised the petitions, which THR noted have more than 20,000 signatures, didn’t call for the military to airstrike the ride.

We shouldn’t even let it stand. It’s too much of a threat for society! Bomb the thing out of existence.

Are you all picking up on my sarcasm? Is it dripping through your computer? It should be because I’m pouring it on right now.

It’s truly amazing dumb some people can be that they’d waste time focusing on a ride meant to get little kids wet with water.

It’s called Splash Mountain. If you have enough time to bother Disney about Splash Mountain, then you need to find a job that requires a few more hours of work.

There is legitimate stuff to protest. This isn’t it. Did anyone even know the ride was tied to the movie? I damn sure didn’t, and I’m guessing most other people didn’t either.

I’m honestly concerned for the future of this country. If we start scrubbing everything tied to anything that’s offensive by modern standards, then we’re screwed as a society. You can’t wash away history, and you shouldn’t want to!

Apologies to all the kids who will never get to experience the original “Splash Mountain.”