Trying to atone for his pawing, sniffing and allegedly assaulting women over the years, and fearing the far left, Joe Biden announced (when he was behind in the polls) that he’d pick a woman as his VP The day has come.
Now that polls in key states show Biden winning, he might be more strategic. In fact, the same polls that showed Hillary winning by 12% in 2016 have Biden up 10 points over Trump. Crucial battleground states like Michigan, Missouri and Ohio show Biden up by as much as 40 points in the graveyards of Detroit, St. Louis and Cleveland. This is important, because mail-in voter turnout in key cemeteries this year is predicted to be up 425%.
The state of Joe Biden’s mental health makes the VP pick all the more crucial. If elected, he will be the puppet of the violent and angry left. And the person who executes their leftist agenda will be important to them. They probably could slip a man with long hair in on Joe now, and he wouldn’t know it wasn’t a woman.
The V.P. pageant competition has been fierce. Many of the mentioned candidates have been pandering for the job. Georgia’s unaccomplished contender and Washington Post centerfold Stacey Abrams even said that she would step down as Governor of Georgia to accept the spot.
Another contender is Susan Rice, Obama’s henchwoman. She knows where the Benghazi and Russian Hoax bodies are buried — literally. She and Biden might be a nice combo. I can see the campaign sticker now: “White on Rice.” She wrote an email to herself the day she left her National Security Advisor office saying that she and Obama did everything right. You just know when someone does that, he or she is honest.
The New York Governor who, along with his essentially annexed territory of N.J., has lost about one-third of all the Americans who died of COVID-19 through their mistakes, would be the normal pick for Biden. But unless Gov. Cuomo is willing to pee sitting down over the next four years, Biden is in a bind.
Biden’s Weekend at Bernie’s handlers are doing most of the work on his VP pick. Biden comes out of hiding and asks them if they have made a decision yet. Good thing Biden is in a basement; his campaign managers are afraid Biden would try to “sniff out” a running mate and “hand-pick” her.
Joe has always been excitable, and says he can’t wait to find out whom he picked to be his running mate.
This would be a good time for a moderate to be president, given all the revolting rancor in Washington. Adam Schiff, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and Jerry Nadler lead the Nasty Parade. The way Chairman Nadler treated William Barr last week was indicative of how mean it has gotten. Nadler did not let AG Barr have a five-minute break for lunch, which is particularly hypocritical because Nadler was about an hour late to the hearing, having been involved, I can only presume, in an unfortunate all-you-can-eat buffet accident.
If elected, Biden will celebrate his 78th birthday before being inaugurated — probably in his basement where his handlers have been hiding him. Do not expect much information on the event. I can imagine a news report on his birthday, saying that friends at his small party said Biden smiled, seemed alert, and even had a little cake.
So now we have Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Nancy Pelosi saying they represent fresh new “change in Washington.” They have been there and in charge for a total of more than 100 years. In the coming days, they will take to the political platform for Biden. The only act that is older and still performing onstage is the Rolling Stones.
Polls always show a “generic” Democrat or Republican beating the opposing party’s candidate. The idea is that if you do not know anything about the candidate, you want to like him. This is the strategy of the ever-bumbling Biden: just hide away in his bunker and hope people forget.
A libertarian syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV commentator. He can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com or on Twitter @RonaldHart.