This has been a dumpster fire of a year, and we should be happy to say goodbye. If 2020 had a theme song, comedian Sam Kinison would scream the lyrics into a metal bucket.
My annual list of random thoughts on the year:
-Here’s to wishing that people can go to church on Christmas if they want to. It doesn’t bother me as much as most; I’m not a part of any organized religion. I’m Episcopalian.
-I wish kids could get back to in-class learning. Homeschooling by parents got old quickly. But on the bright side, with kids learning from home, reported cases of students having sex with their teachers are way down in all states except West Virginia.
-Big tech owns Democrats and likes shutdowns. Facebook, Google and Amazon are killing it. Amazon has had many first-time shoppers during the pandemic but has lost a step. Customers complain that the product they get is not what was represented online. It’s like online dating.
-I hope House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry (Lil’ Nads) Nadler, D-NY, was able to buy some pants that fit him this year. Nadler is the only man in the House of Reprehensibles who buys his pants based on his neck size. And he and Adam Schiff vie to be the worst person in America.
-Bowing to political pressure from the PC-obsessed left, the Cleveland Indians said they would change their name. If I had my choice, they would change their name to the “Nashville Indians.” The Washington Redskins changed their name to the “Washington Football Team” which, the way they play, is offensive to football teams.
-Biden got off the schneid when he started getting presidential security briefings. He had a good day at the first briefings: he remembered his pants.
-I hope Biden stops getting softball questions from the press. He said he would choose to answer some questions from social media. The problem with that is, their number one question is, “Zuup, you awake?”
-The Democrats’ wish list is to make guns illegal. Making them illegal, they reason, will get rid of guns. You know, the same way making drugs illegal in America got rid of drugs.
-COVID vaccine shots are out, and my MD daughter was one of the first to get one at Erlanger Hospital. The vaccine vials are coming quickly; it is a communal effort. I saw five homeless people in a San Francisco tent giving each other vaccine shots, and I couldn’t help thinking, “What a nice communal effort to combat COVID.”
-Mayor Pete Buttigieg checked a box and Biden paid off a campaign deal by appointing Buttigieg Secretary of Transportation. He has experience as mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and plans to put an end to rear-ending.
-Biden feels he has gotten to know all of his Cabinet appointees. He does not know their names, but he can name each of their shampoo fragrances.
-You can tell the leftists in the Democrat Party are in charge. Over Christmas, they tried to ban the song, “Baby it’s COVID Outside.”
-I wish Lori Loughlin good luck in prison. In the face of all the murders, assaults, looting, etc., our justice system spent about $1 million on prosecuting her for a result of a few months’ sentence. Remember she bribed her daughters’ way into USC. When I was in college, just the opposite happened to me. Once I got in, the college offered my parents money to take me back.
-We learned a good bit from the ham-handed way the big COVID states like New York and California handled lockdowns. Caveman-looking New York Governor Andrew Cuomo lectured us every day on what he was doing about COVID. We have reached the point where I would feel much better if COVID held a press conference to tell us what it is doing to protect us from government.
-With much anticipation, Cuomo will roll out the vaccine in NY. Women will have to be bored for hours waiting to get the little prick that lasts 15 seconds. It is like a date with the Governor himself.
– It is about time to say goodbye to awful 2020. I have already made resolutions for 2021; one is to try to get out of the house more.
Ron is a libertarian syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV commentator. He can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com or on Twitter @RonaldHart.