Actor Dax Shepard admitted he did not want to publicly reveal he had relapsed.
Shepard opened up about his relapse during Tuesday’s episode of “The Ellen Show.”
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“I did not want to [tell anyone] at all,” Shepard told host Ellen DeGeneres. “I had all kinds of bizarre fears, like, I have sponsors on my show, is that something that could cost me money, financially?”
Shepard said he mostly didn’t want to let his supporters down. (RELATED: ‘It Was The Worst Hour Of My Life’: Dax Shepard Opens Up About Recent Relapse In Sobriety Battle)
“The number one thing I was afraid to lose was I get so much esteem out of being someone who’s vocally sober and I have people who write me, ‘I’m month one,’ or ‘I’m week two,’ and I love that,” he continued. “That’s my favorite thing about being in public, so I was just terrified I would lose that. I really cherish that.”
The “Without A Paddle” actor said a friend helped him decide to publicly talk about his relapse.
“I have a good friend that said, ‘You know if your real goal is to help people, it’s not very helpful that you’re 16 years sober and married to Kristen Bell’ … So the fact that you just fell, that’s the actual value,'” Shepard recalled. “So when it was framed that way to me, it got a lot easier.”
Shepard revealed he began to struggle with his sobriety after he was injured. The actor claimed he started to take pain pills and the situation escalated from there on his podcast “Armchair Expert” back in September.