Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, said she contemplated suicide while living the royal life, during an interview with Oprah Winfrey that aired Sunday night.
Markle said she faced “character assassination,” which led her to have suicidal thoughts, according to NBC News.
“Look, I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he suffered, but I knew that if I didn’t say it, then I would do it,” Markle said alongside Prince Harry. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
Markle said she and future sister-in-law Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, argued before her wedding about flower girl dresses. The media, however, initially reported that Kate was the one crying. Markle says it was actually her.
“It made me cry, and it really hurt my feelings,” she said, according to NBC News.
Markle said Kate later apologized and sent flowers but wouldn’t delve more into the disagreement during the interview, NBC News reported.
“It wasn’t a confrontation. I don’t think it’s fair to her to get into the details of that because she apologized. And I’ve forgiven her. What was hard to get over was being blamed for something that not only I didn’t do it, but that happened to me.”
Markle and Harry also talked about racism faced within the royal family, according to The New York Times.
There had allegedly been “several conversations” with family on “concerns” about how dark Markle and Harry’s son’s, Archie, skin would be. Markle said there were talks as to whether Archie could get an official title.
Oprah reacted with shock when Meghan Markel revealed there were “concerns and conversations about how dark his (Archie’s) skin might be when he was born”.
— Ada King (@Real_AdaKing) March 8, 2021
Markle refused to name who was involved in the conversation. (RELATED: Meghan Markle’s Rep Denies Former Advisor To The Duchess Filed Bullying Complaint Against Her)
“I think that would be very damaging to them,” she said.
“They were concerned that if he were too brown, that that would be a problem?” Winfrey asked.
“I wasn’t able to follow up with why,” Markle said, according to the NYT. “But that – if that’s the assumption you’re making, I think that feels like a pretty safe one.”
Harry also refused to detail the conversations much further.
“That conversation I’m never going to share,” he said, according to the report. “At the time, it was awkward. I was a bit shocked.”
Winfrey confirmed Monday that neither Queen Elizabeth or Prince Philip were involved in such talks, according to Page Six.
Harry also said his family missed the chance to condemn media coverage of Markle that was allegedly racist, according to the NYT.
Harry said his family didn’t support signing an open letter that condemned the “outdated, colonial undertones” in newspaper coverage of Markel, according to the NYT.
“Yet no one from my family ever said anything over those three years. And that – that hurts. But I also am acutely aware of where my family stand and how scared they are of the tabloids turning on them.”