Editorial

REPORT: Man Cuts Off His Penis During Police Chase, Throws It Out Of His Car

Bloody Knife (Credit: Shutterstock/OriIfergan)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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A man reportedly chopped off his penis during an interaction with the police.

According to WJLE, Tyson Gilbert decided to cut off his penis “before or during” a chase with the police in Tennessee. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

What did he do with his recently removed penis? He tossed it out of his vehicle because voices allegedly told him to do it.

“When I pulled up behind him and turned my lights on he took off and refused to stop. He was all over the road the whole time. He turned off on Old Liberty Road and came to a stop. He opened his door. He was naked and covered in blood. He then shut his door and kept driving,” Tennessee Highway Patrol trooper Bobby Johnson explained.

Eventually, police were able to stop Gilbert’s vehicle and get him in custody.

If you ever cut off your own penis during a police chase, you should 100% be able to plead not guilty because of being insane with no questions asked.

If you’re so committed to whatever you’re doing that you lose a male’s arguably most important body part, then you’ve successfully convinced me you’re not playing with a full deck.

Lots of people might like to use an insanity plea and most of them probably don’t hold water. You chop your penis off, and you don’t need to say anything else.

You’ve done more than enough to convince me that you’re nuts.

The man no longer has a functioning penis. Hasn’t he paid enough at this point? Might be best to just cut him loose and call it even.