Will Smith Opens Up About Childhood Trauma, Says His Father Was ‘Violent’ And He Contemplated Killing Him

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Katie Jerkovich Entertainment Reporter
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Will Smith opened up about childhood trauma in his new memoir, writing about how his father was “violent” and how he contemplated killing him at one point.

“When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed,” Smith wrote in his book “Will” about his dad, William Carroll Smith Sr., according to an exclusive excerpt to People magazine in a piece published Wednesday. (RELATED: Will Smith In The Trailer For Netflix’s Sci-Fi Thriller ‘Bright’)

“I saw her spit blood,” he added, the outlet noted. “That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am. Within everything that I have done since then-the awards and accolades, the spotlights and attention, the characters and the laughs-there has been a subtle string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing her in the moment. For failing to stand up to my father. For being a coward.”

The 53-year-old actor reportedly wrote about one night, after his father’s cancer diagnosis years later while he was caring for him, he contemplated killing him and fulfilling a promise he made to himself about avenging his mother.

“One night, as I delicately wheeled him from his bedroom toward the bathroom, a darkness arose within me,” Smith wrote, the magazine shared. “As a child I’d always told myself that I would one day avenge my mother. That when I was big enough, when I was strong enough, when I was no longer a coward, I would slay him.” (RELATED: Jada Pinkett-Smith Opens Up About Her Past Relationship With Porn)

“I paused at the top of the stairs. I could shove him down, and easily get away with it,” the superstar actor wrote, according to E! News. “I’m Will Smith. No one would ever believe I killed my father on purpose. I’m one of the best actors in the world. My 911 call would be Academy Award level.”

Smith then reportedly wrote about how at that moment as “decades of pain, anger, and resentment coursed then receded” he just shook his head and “proceeded to wheel Daddio to the bathroom” and thanked God that we aren’t judged by our “trauma-driven, inner outbursts,” but by “our actions” instead.

Will is married to actress Jada Pinkett and the two have two kids together. Will also has a son from a previous marriage.