Britney Spears said she’d “get more respect doing a spread for Playboy” than if she wrote a book in lengthy post about what she’s gone through the last 13 years.
“I had an experience three years ago where I stopped believing in God!!!!” the 40-year-old pop singer shared in a post she made on Instagram Monday. (RELATED: Celebrities Speak Out In Defense Of Britney Spears Following Her Plea To End Conservatorship)
“From every angle I was being hurt for no reason and my family was hurting me,” she added. “I went into a state of shock and the way I coped was being [in] fake denial … It was too much for me to really face.” (RELATED: Britney Spears’ Mom ‘Inserted Herself’ Into Daughter’s Life To Get Vegas Marriage Annulled, Lawyer Says)
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The “Toxic” hitmaker said “people have no idea the awful things that have been done to” her “personally” and admitted she is “scared of people and the business!!!!”
“Not doing music anymore is my way of saying ‘F–k You’ in a sense when it only actually benefits my family by ignoring my real work,” she added. “It’s like I’ve subconsciously let them win.”
The superstar singer explained why she made a post last week about her career milestones and admitted she “acted like an obnoxious 8 year old” because she said she has “serious insecurities.”
“Honestly my family embarrassed me and hurt me deeply … so tooting my own horn and seeing my past accomplishments reflecting back at me actually helped!!!!!” she added.
Spears said if people really knew what she went through they would “understand COMPLETELY” where she was coming from.
“It’s a shame that people don’t like the truth!” she added. “I’d get more respect for doing a spread for Playboy than I would writing a book!”
She said “as much” as she’s “been offended” by the idea, she asked which option her fans would do.
The “Gimme More” hitmaker closed out her lengthy post by saying it all goes back to praying.
“Either way it’s all another reason to go back to the beginning and say what I said Pray…Pray…Pray,” Britney wrote. “So…again, I’m sorry if I sound ignorant….I’m extremely insecure and I probably care too much. So, that’s all I got…Prayer.”
The superstar singer recently posted on social media about being thankful and feeling like being on “cloud 9” after a judge terminated her conservatorship after nearly 14 years.
Britney had been under conservatorship since 2008, which oversaw her and her estate after she went through a public spell of mental health issues.