Editorial

The USA Mullet Championship Contestants Are Absolute American Legends In The Making

Screenshot/CBSNews

Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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The youngsters taking part in this year’s USA Mullet Championships are absolute legends in the making.

Voting for the kids and teens divisions of the Mullet Championship opened Monday and will close on Friday, according to the official USA Mullet Championship website. Personally, I will not be partaking in any of the voting, as every single individual contestant in this epic championship is already a winner to me.

While the photographs shared on the site look oddly similar to happy mugshots, these hairstyles are taking no one prisoner. One of my personal favorites belongs to Landry Turpin for Duncan, Oklahoma, a kid’s division finalist who has an American flag shaved into the business side of his scalp.

Then there’s Epic Orta of La Joya, Texas, who matched his messy but meaningful do with some of the slickest shades I’ve ever witnessed. Overall, every single person contending in any of the USA Mullet Championship divisions is a winner, and no one can ever take that away from them.

Contestant Emmitt Bailey of Menomonie, Wisconsin, told CBS he’s been waiting a long time to show off his epic mullet. “Last year my parents found out about it, but it already started, so then we did it this year,” Bailey told the outlet, noting that he’ll be buying a go-kart if he wins the $2,500 prize.

“[Mullets have] come back in full force. It was $10 to enter and all of the donations are going to the Michigan Wig Foundation for kids,” his father, Eric Bailey, told CBS. The senior Bailey is spot-on, mullets are arguably the most important fashion comeback the U.S. has seen in recent years.

One of the most famous mullets of this moment belongs to country music icon Morgan Wallen. After the “Dangerous” singer recently paid for a Little League team to attend the Dix Youth Baseball Series in Anderson, South Carolina, a bunch of the kiddos gave themselves mullets as an adorable thank you. (RELATED: Wait, Who TF Does This Guy Think He Is?)

While many American men might look down on mullets, their place in American culture is as essential as pickup trucks, guns, and fishing with your friends on a Sunday with a cold can of beer. It wouldn’t surprise me if one of the kids or teens taking part in this year’s championships goes on to become president: they’re just that patriotic.