Chicago Is Such A Disaster That Even The Bears Might Leave

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Scoops Delacroix Freelance Writer
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The NFL’s Bears are considering leaving Chicago for the suburbs, and based off of the latest news coming out of the city, we understand why!

All due respect to our Illinois readers, but that city is a mess. Between the property taxes, murder, and Mayor Lori Lightfoot having the biggest dick in town, we at the Daily Caller are making no plans to head west any time soon. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

Now, the Bears are thinking of opening “a multi-purpose entertainment district anchored by a new, best-in-class enclosed stadium, providing Chicagoland with a new home worthy of hosting global events such as the Super Bowl, College Football Playoffs, and Final Four.” Their new digs “could include: restaurants, office space, hotel, fitness center, new parks and open spaces, and other improvements for the community to enjoy,” although the Bears reserve the option to back out of their Arlington Heights land deal.

If this doesn’t get football fans out to Bears games, I’m not sure what will. David Montgomery’s career 3.9 yards per carry aren’t impressing anyone. Neither are the casseroles that Chicago denizens claim are legally pizza.

Don’t get me wrong, I love football as much as the next American. With that being said, describing what the Bears do as “football” is very generous, and describing Chicago as a “city” is even more generous! Maybe Lori Lightfoot needs to spend a little less time fighting with Texas and a little more time hiring cops.