Some members of Congress are finally trying to make the Capitol great again.
With Republicans back in charge of the House of Representatives, smoke-filled rooms are once again in vogue. Smoking has only been allowed in members’ offices in the Capitol for years now, but the previously-declining pastime of huffing on a cigar with the fellas is now roaring back.
The Senate side of the Capitol, controlled by Democrats, has a complete and total ban on smoking. But in the House, the GOP is filling the hallways with the sweet smell of combusting tobacco plants, and enemies of freedom are losing their minds over it.
Capitol Hill “reporters” are complaining of unpleasant smells and silly concepts like “second-hand smoke” and “cancer.” What they should do is light up a pack of Marlboro’s themselves rather than try to keep down their fellow man.
There are few office buildings left in America where a man can still rip a dart to keep the demons at bay. Congress doesn’t often set a shining example for the rest of the country, but more offices should take after the House and let their workers unwind with a cigar or other inhaling device of their choice during a long day on the job.
The haters and losers, of which there are many, are pointing to the health effects. They claim that the aides and reporters who work around these Congressmen will be harmed. They claim that valuable artwork in the building will be damaged. They claim that a stench will pollute the pristine hallways of Congress.
Poppycock. Men need to smoke again. When more men smoked, America was thinner, bolder and better at winning wars. Silly people are arguing this is a sign of GOP toxic masculinity — well, they’re half right. Smoking in the office is as masculine as saving your wife and kids from a grizzly bear attack with your bare hands. America is back.