Bohemian Grove, Bilderberg Group Privately Voice Concern WEF Has Upstaged Their Plans For World Domination

(Photo by Khalil MAZRAAWI / AFP) (Photo by KHALIL MAZRAAWI/AFP via Getty Images)

Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
Font Size:

Members and attendees of the Bilderberg Group and Bohemian Grove are pissed at the World Economic Forum for upstaging their goals for total world dominion.

Once upon a time, there were two contenders for the total takeover of the world: the Bilderberg Group and attendees of Bohemian Grove’s annual gathering. Both groups formed with the sole purpose of creating a one-world order wherein their leaders became deities, their wants and needs fulfilled above all others … kind of like how North Korea runs to this day, or any Communist state, for that matter.

The leaders of these groups are academics, politicians, financial manipulators, military experts, industrialists and the media puppets regularly recruited from failing acting schools in New York and Los Angeles. The greatest threat to their success is no longer the resistance of us peasant masses, but the World Economic Forum.

“It’s just not fair,” one elder member of the Bilderberg Group told the Daily Caller as he picked his teeth with the bones of orphan children. “Obviously we can’t compete with the World Economic Forum when their leader is Klaus Schwab. He’s just too perfect for the role, and it’s making us all look bad.”

It was hard to disagree with the statement. Schwab, the founder of WEF, has everything one could desire in a supervillain. He’s older than time itself. He’s got that thick, throaty German accent that Hollywood manipulated us into always fearing.

More than that, he’s got almost all of the world’s major influencers on his side. Sure, Schwab and his team had to sacrifice a few family members of global elites to get his power, but he’s maintaining it well.

“It was hard enough to lose Alex Jones back in the day, but now we’re losing every influential celebrity and crazy person on the internet to WEF. They even struck up deals with that acting school so they get to all of the politicians before we can even get a look in,” an elder member of Bohemian Grove told the Daily Caller, communicating exclusively through the fungal networks that trees use to send messages.

“Have you tried teaming up with WEF?” We asked folks from Bohemian Grove and the Bilderberg Group. Our sources laughed in our faces.

“Of course we did, but who wants to travel all the way to that sh*thole California when they can go to Davos, Switzerland and enjoy all the best things about Europe, like the food and, you know, prostitutes?” one Bohemian Grove attendee spat back, covering my office with fungal slime (which took hours to clean up). “They look at us like we’re losers. Schwab has created a cabal of bullies, and it’s not fair.”

Another repeating theme throughout the conversations was the influence of billionaire George Soros. Our sources claim that he was grown in the same lab as Schwab, which explains the close, almost romantic relationship between the two men. But that’s not the major concern …

“He’s got so much money and, for whatever reason, America doesn’t care that his foreign assets are buying all of the politicians who ensure the chaos Klaus wants,” the Bohemian Grove attendee noted, tearing up after what must be years of frustration. (RELATED: A Host Of Cartoonish Bond Villains Are Deciding Your Fate From The Swiss Alps)

“It’s just so disappointing. We worked for years to turn the human race against each other, to distract them from being autonomous individuals with rights, to give up their freedoms so they can serve us, and now these w*nkers in Switzerland get to reap all the rewards,” the Bilderberg Group member concluded, before coughing up what appeared to be Jeffrey Epstein’s middle finger, apologizing for the mess, and then eating it again.

*this entire article is fiction (at least at the time of writing)