HART: ‘Joe Isuzu’ Biden and ‘The Art of War’

Jacquelyn Martin/Pool via REUTERS

Ron Hart Contributor
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The Democrat Deep State was miffed at China for sending that balloon over the United States to spy on us. The FBI, DOJ, IRS, and CIA are really mad about it, because it is their job to spy on Americans – but just the ones they are told to. 

The helium-filled balloon seemed a bit silly in this age of high-tech satellites and I Spy-type phones in Maxwell Smart’s shoe. Joe Biden is certainly not Smart. 

The helium balloon should be taken seriously, as many kids are hooked on “whippits” these days.  People overlook the epidemic of our youth inhaling helium to get high. The biggest problem with getting help with your helium inhaling habit is that no one takes your cries for help seriously. 

Tuesday night, the 7th, “Joe Isuzu” Biden took to the podium for his State of the Union speech. He started with, “I am here to report that the state of the Union is good.” Someone must have told him it is always good to start a speech with a joke to get the crowd on your side. Instead of the “State of the Union,” the reality is Biden is more in the State of Confusion. 

It was odd not seeing Nancy Pelosi behind the President during the State of the Union Address. I could not help wondering if Nancy took her Speaker’s gavel home. I hope she hid it from her husband. 

Biden took credit wherever he could find it. He is the first president in history to use our ($200-plus million per plane) F-22 Raptor jets to shoot down a Chinese balloon.  Popping that balloon is the first thing he’s done to reduce inflation. 

Biden went on to disingenuously take credit for deficit reduction, which was simply accomplished by comparing the U.S. budget today to the one that inefficiently gave away hundreds of billions in PPP money and COVID relief in the previous year. And “employment gains” were just folks coming back to work after getting their COVID sit-at- home checks. 

At the podium next to him sat a big, overstuffed Panda doll. He won it for shooting down that Chinese balloon at a South Carolina fair. If you know anything about the economics of county fairs, you know the guy who owns the stuffed animal shooting booth is the smart one. Those spending tons of money and shooting for minimal, cheap prizes are the rubes. 

I am no military strategist. My last uniformed service was Webelos, where I quit or was asked to leave. I cannot remember. But when an enemy spy balloon crosses your border, you should shoot it down then. The government would never have told us about the balloon had it not been for an observant Montanan, who should have “taken it to the train station” at the Wyoming line right then and there.  Where is Rip when you need him?

And do not say if we shot it down it would hurt people. There are about 500,000 people in the huge state of Wyoming, and there is about zero chance a balloon shot down would hit anyone unless it is near a city.  Outside an urban area, there is less than a zero chance. Pentagon, do the math — or is math now racist? 

So these government idiots wait until it goes all the way across our country like a French kid on spring break, and they shoot it down over the ocean off South Carolina (where another shot was famously fired). In short, this tiny shot-down balloon, which fell looking like it was Tommy Lee’s condom, went into the ocean. In fact, a used Tommy Lee condom would pose more health threats to anyone exposed to it.

Much of the data is likely lost. We will never know what the Chinese had unless Kevin McCarthy puts Adam Schiff back on the House Intel Committee. Schiff will be easy to reinstate on the Intel Committee. He promised CNN damning evidence against President Trump or Ron DeSantis; the info is so secret, he has not even fabricated it yet.

There are news reports that there is another spy balloon over Central America. It may not be Chinese; it might be ours. Our intel community sent it to validate its thinking on our border crisis and to see if there are any people left down there.

A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron does commentary on radio and TV. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.