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‘I Feel Like My Life Is Ending And I Am Truly Scared’: Jen Shah Details Her First Days In Prison

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Leena Nasir Entertainment Reporter
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“The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” star Jen Shah detailed her first days in prison by writing a journal entry and having her husband Sharrieff read it aloud to her Instagram fans.

Shah surrendered to Bryan Federal Prison Camp to serve six and a half years for her role in a telemarketing scheme and she said she wasn’t even sure she could make it through the first day, according to the statement read by her husband.

“I feel physically sick. I feel like I don’t belong here,” Shah said. “I thought I could do this but I’ve decided I can’t. I want to go home right now, but I know that is impossible. Please Allah help me, please,” she wrote in a video that can be viewed here.

The entire process of surrendering to jail was difficult for Shah.

“Two miles from Bryan Federal Prison Camp, I could not breathe and my hands went numb. I knew I was having an anxiety attack,” Shah wrote. She described the experience as being “surreal,” and admitted she was facing her “worst fear” as the “unimaginable was about to happen.”

Shah described her last few moments before walking into the facility that would become her residence for several years.

“We approached the gates and were told to pull into a parking stall next to a white van. It all happened so fast. There was a guard waiting outside of our SUV, and two more officers approached, who I later found out was the Captain,” she said.

The reality television star broke down when she said goodbye to her youngest son.

“I leaned over to the seat next to me and hugged Omar as tight as I could and cried as I buried my head in his chest and held him as tight as I could not wanting to face [the] reality that this would be the last time I hugged him for a while,” Shah wrote.

The reality of knowing she would be separated from her loved one was weighing heavily on her.

“Sharrieff opened the back passenger seat, and I turned to embrace him; hugging him as if holding him harder would somehow erase this horrible nightmare,” she wrote. (RELATED: REPORT: Famous Con Artist Plans To Speak With MBA Students At Harvard)

“I wanted to remember his embrace, his smell, his touch. I held his face in both of my hands. As [I] looked into his eyes, tears streaming down my face, I told him he is the love of my life and I love him more than anything.”

“My entire body is numb, I feel like my life is ending, and I am truly scared. I want to run back into my husband’s arms because I know he will make this nightmare end,” Sharieff said as he read Shah’s emotional journal entry aloud.