QUAY: The Worst People On The Internet Celebrate The End Of ‘Tucker Carlson Tonight’

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Grayson Quay News & Opinion Editor
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The moment on Monday when Fox News announced the departure of Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson, an orgasmic quiver convulsed the gelatinous slime mold of left-wing Twitter as the worst people on the internet experienced a rare moment of joy. The only man on television brave enough to challenge their narrative hegemony had met his demise.

Frank Figliuzzi, who dragged his damp, aqualine frame out of the deep state to become a CNN contributor, celebrated the announcement that “Fox ‘News'” had parted ways with its chief “propagandist and domestic terrorist radicalizer.”

Figliuzzi famously said that although he’d be willing “to risk my life for somebody like Tucker Carlson’s right to free speech,” Tucker’s opposition to a blank check for Ukraine “isn’t free speech.” It’s “aiding and abetting terrorism.” Because Putin commits war crimes, you see. Of course, Ukrainian troops have also committed war crimes. Does that mean Figgy’s support for Ukraine is also criminal speech? It’s a waste of time to ask. You can’t expect consistency from these people.

It’s also worth noting that Figliuzzi used to work for the FBI, so he wouldn’t know terrorism if it flew a 747 into his living room. These are the same jackbooted jagoffs who think Latin-loving Catholics are suicide bombers in waiting, while Ray Epps — who incited a riot ON CAMERA — was the only innocent person at the Jan. 6 riot. (RELATED: QUAY: You’re Not Paranoid, The FBI Is Out To Get You)

Lincoln Project founder Rick Wilson wrote that Tucker was leaving to “spend more time with his fascism.” He wasn’t quite so gleeful when co-founder John Weaver left the Lincoln Project to spend more time with his harem of teenage boys. 

Also, accusations of fascism from the Lincoln crowd have been almost entirely devalued at this point. This is the organization that started as a “principled” stand against Trump and now hurls the f-word at anyone to the right of Larry Hogan. And if they can’t find Nazis, they’ll invent them, like the time they made a bunch of interns dress up like white supremacists at a Glenn Youngkin rally. Of course, one of those “white supremacists” was a black guy, but hey, I’m sure it was short notice. 

It’s a good day for Wilson, though. With Tucker gone, no one else will push back quite as hard when wealthy urbanites and establishment pick-mes suggest that the people of America’s hollowed-out heartland are vile racists who deserve to overdose on fentanyl. (RELATED: Lincoln Project Takes Responsibility For Tiki Torch Hoax At Youngkin Rally)

Noted penis-haver Charlotte Clymer also joined the pile-on. “I’ll be very disappointed if Tucker Carlson’s fans don’t blame trans people for this. We want credit,” tweeted the Episcopalian ex-flak for heretical Catholic abortionists.

So far I haven’t seen a single Tucker fan blame trans people (probably because that wouldn’t make any damn sense), but sure, take credit if you want, Chuck. What is true is that Tucker understood transgenderism better than almost anyone else in media. He understood that it’s a two-pronged assault.

First, it’s a demonic assault on truth and goodness. After the Nashville shooting, he suggested that the transgender killer targeted a church school because “Christians refused to join every other liar in our society and proclaim that transgenderists are gods with the power to change nature itself.” On Saturday, in a speech at a Heritage Foundation event, he noted that the left’s desire to “sexually mutilate children” was not political but “theological,” a revenant from the dark depths of the pagan past.

Second, transgenderism is a distraction, a direct-to-DVD sequel to the civil rights movement. Put a trans admiral and a kleptomaniacal dog fetishist in the administration, and our elites can pretend they’re for progress while pursuing policies that make Americans poorer, less safe and less able to form families. “[Our leaders] do not care if the actual country, the physical country, comes apart at the seams, as long as the population dutifully repeats the correct slogans,” he said in October 2021. It’s rhetoric like this that won Carlson crossover appeal with some Bernie Sanders devotees. (RELATED: Trans Activist Claims ‘God Made Me In Her Image’)

With Carlson gone, cable news viewers are left to choose between a panoply of identical regime mouthpieces and boring boomercons like Sean Hannity. Back to business as usual. I’m reminded of a line from Christopher Nolan’s Joker: “I had a vision of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so … boring.”

Tucker wasn’t boring. He read tweets from obscure right-wing Twitter accounts verbatim on the air. He talked about exploding milk porn. He delivered horny paeans to animated candy mascots. He told Americans that the way to happiness was to get married young and have more kids than you can afford. When Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson vetoed a bill that would have protected children from chemical castration, Tucker gave him 40 lashes less one in front of a primetime audience. He asked questions you wouldn’t hear on any other show: What are UFOs? Who really killed President Kennedy? Why do our elites think cigarettes are bad but marijuana is fine? 

The deep state, the warmongers, the cowardly Republican establishment, the identarian grifters — say what you want about Tucker Carlson, but he made the right enemies. And even they know, deep down, that they’ll miss him.

Grayson Quay is an editor at the Daily Caller.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.