On Saturday at 2 a.m., heard all around was “The royal coronation is on TV.” “The royal coronation is on,” screamed sons who could never quite throw a spiral.
For England, a country the size of Alabama, the 1000-year-old ritual of swearing in a monarch is both cool and creepy. If you listen to many on the left, Great Britain colonized and plundered for its wealth. But it grew and it prospered. I guess the lesson here is that good things come to those who steal.
The way our government is going, there are times I wish the British would forgive us and take us back. These days most Americans would probably agree. Had the Brits not insisted on fighting us in the woods in bright red coats, we might still be under British rule.
Things are finally starting to come together for King Charles. But instead of playing “God Save the King” as he was anointed, I suggested the band play the theme song from “The Jeffersons.” Charles waited a long time for this. In fact, when his son, Prince William (who is now first in line for the throne), leaned over to kiss him during the ceremony, Prince Charles reminded him, “Son, this is a very slow-moving line.”
Queen Elizabeth endowed Prince Harry with the title of Duke of Sussex and his wife, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. In high school, I was the Douche of NoSex, so I get it. But part of the reason Meghan and Harry left England for California was that Harry is sixth in line to be King. Also, at 94, Queen Elizabeth drove herself, drank six cocktails a night, and was a bad ass. I’d like to hang with her. Prince Charles — not so much.
When they came to the Americas, Harry and Meghan thought they would still be royalty. Here Harry will be fourth in the line of succession behind King Lebron James and Meghan seventh in line behind Queen Latifa.
However, many of us Royal watchers were concerned that the couple would not be prepared for the real world. I was afraid they could end up on the street, castle-less, doing info commercials with Sir-Mix-A-Lot. But liberal Hollywood bailed them out with tell-all documentaries and the book, Spare.
They demanded their privacy while they gave whiny interviews each week and made bratty documentaries, They began to wear on most of us. The Queen even demoted them when they moved to LA, from “Prince Harry” to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Meghan did not attend the coronation. According to newspaper accounts, she “went hiking.” (So she finally took the advice of the Royals and took a hike.) You have to admire her guts for standing up to the Royal Family and the UK media. Meghan has double the fortitude of Cinderella — she only had one ball.
Meghan missed a nice coronation but will catch the next one. They only come along every 70 years or so. Queen Camilla and King Charles rode in a gold carriage; it was a nice homage to Lady Di when they decided to ride in it with no seat belts.
We older folks love the pageantry of celebrations like this, but there is ample push- back on the monarchy now from younger “woke” people. Many are angry about this antiquated event, and about those who will not let go of the past. Debt collectors and ex-wives are the worst.
I really should not make fun of Mother England as I travel there next week. My ancestors came from there, ‘way back in the Mayflower era. John Hart signed the Declaration of Independence (he thought it was a bar tab). I am so white, you would think I’d be more excited about a ritual like a coronation.
No doubt I would be viewed as “white privileged.” I have the blue blood of a much too confident white dude. I really should not mention this but the blood on my front Yukon SUV bumper is still under police investigation.
The left, like Obama, Oprah and Biden (all of whom go to events like funerals, weddings and coronations, and Jill Biden attended the wedding), are the ones who hate old world colonizing countries like Britain and their grandiose displays of white privilege. And they love campaigning against white privilege in the U.S., but when the fancy invites come, they fly private jets to England to see what all the fuss is about.
A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron does commentary on radio and TV. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.