Cry Harder Actors. Industry Experts Finally Admit No One Wants To Sit In Sticky Theaters And Watch Your Stupid Films


Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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A survey published Wednesday found that industry professionals don’t believe the box office will ever recover to pre-pandemic levels … like, duh?

The industry panel conducted by YouGov for Variety’s Intelligence Platform’s latest special report highlighted how the nature of the entertainment industry has profoundly changed since the COVID-19 pandemic. More than 75% of respondents didn’t expect box office take-homes to surpass the highs experienced in the years prior to the pointless lockdowns we experienced during the pandemic.

Can anyone say, “WELL DUH?!” Of course the box office isn’t going to recover. The entertainment industry was totally altered by two major factors during the pandemic: (1) normalization of homebodying and the (2) extreme economic crisis that makes things like trips to the cinema a three-figure trip for most families.

Two years of terror from our government normalized streaming services and watching movies at home. Staying home is significantly cheaper, more comfortable and easier than going to a movie theater, and there is literally nothing the industry can do to change that.

The survey tried to argue that if ticketing prices were reduced or variable, lots of people would go back to the theater. I totally disagree. Why would anyone in their right mind pay loads to see a film that’ll almost definitely be available via a streaming service within a year of its release?

“Oh yeah, I’d love to go sit in a cold room full of strangers where no one can pause the film when I need a wee or a smoke break. Please, take all of my money for your greasy, tasteless snacks too,” said no one, ever.

The news must be devastating for aspiring filmmakers (officially one of the worst demographics of human), which is quite funny to me, given how many people in Hollywood wrap their entire self-worth in whether or not they can use a camera and get people to do stuff in front of it. (RELATED: The Music Industry Will Hate How Much Sway Morgan Wallen Has Over Young Americans)

There is one place where actors with real talent can still draw a crowd: a theater designed for stage plays. Perhaps this survey should serve as a PSA for actors that want to be taken seriously? All actors should have a serious stage presence that can be repeated without extra takes and cuts, and the only way to acquire that skill is in the theater, on the stage, not on a heavily edited screen.

*Writer’s Note: Thankfully, Matthew McConaughey is returning to the small screen to star in a series created by “Yellowstone” showrunner Taylor Sheridan, so I don’t think he’d actually be that sad about this news. His image was used because it is funny.