UK Went From World’s Largest Empire To Third World Country In Less Than 100 Years

(Photo by JUSTIN TALLIS/AFP via Getty Images)

Gage Klipper Commentary & Analysis Writer
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One hundred years ago, about one-quarter of the world’s population were British subjects.

Today, they’re all trapped on an island the size of Michigan crying about the weather.

Brits spent the weekend hunkering down for what they apparently found to be an apocalyptic heat wave. “UK to be blasted by 48 hour 26C heatwave,” reads a viral headline from The Mirror. But when Americans figured out what that amounts to in Fahrenheit, the Brits got roasted in more ways than one.

78 degrees Fahrenheit? Seriously? That’s what most of America would consider a cool, summer’s day.

In New York, fashionable ladies will still be getting a few last days out of their minks. In Southern California, the local government might even mandate you carry a light sweater. In the South, 78 would be a delightful break from real oppressive heat. Get Meemaw inside, we got another Ice Age brewin’.

Brits online pointed out that the heat feels worse than it sounds because of the densely built urban homes that typically lack air conditioning.

OK, so… buy an AC? They’re eminently affordable on pretty much any budget, even if it’s just for a few days a year. That’s literally the only nice thing about Western leaders selling us to China. We now have billions of tiny fingers to make us cheap appliances.

Sliding windows? If the heat is really that dangerous, wedge a window unit in with some plexiglass and a 2×4. Or just spend a bit more on a floor unit.

It’s amazing that the same people who conquered the world can’t figure this out.

I lived in the UK for a while, and can say I’ve never been inside a flat that didn’t have a blast of man-made arctic air. But I’m an American, and never ventured too far out of the foreigner-friendly areas.

Perhaps it’s like being a Westerner in Brazil. You can experience all the glitz and glamour of Rio, but you sure as hell don’t go into the favelas.

I guess that’s curtains on centuries of God and My Right, as the greatest empire the world’s ever seen crumbles into a third world hellscape: a bunch of sweaty plebs too weak, poor, and unimaginative to handle some summer heat.