Breaking up on Valentine’s: So easy cavemen can do it

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Is there anything that says “Valentine’s Day” quite like breaking up?

Admit it. It’s the perfect holiday for an irrevocable break.

Many young women are afraid that their romance isn’t going anywhere, and guys are always afraid of commitment, but they don’t know how to end it.

So my young assistant Wings and I have come up with some special Valentine’s Day Dumping Hints.

Lest you think I’m a complete jerk about romance, past columns prove I’m a complete romantic. And Wings was recently engaged to the lovely Elizabeth in an amazing romantic ring-offering that I might tell you about sometime.

But today our recommendations–on what movies to rent and how best to present a Valentine’s Day Dumping Chalupa- are designed so the guy can play the loser.

The guy must play the loser, so she can walk away, keeping her dignity and pride intact.

Then she’ll tell her friends, “Do you believe what that loser did on Valentine’s Day? He rented ‘The Bad Lieutenant!’ I had to break up with a loser like that.”

She’s happy. He’s happy. Everybody’s happy.

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