op-ed

The narrow view

Ron Hart Contributor
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A buddy in Memphis e-mailed me the following, which has been described (presumably by men) as the “joke of the year”:

“Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.”

It explains why The View has been such a daytime TV hit; you just have to listen when women get to gossiping. It is like driving by a car wreck or hearing another couple arguing in the room next door.  You just can’t help yourself.

It also explains why President Obama chose to appear on the show last week in an attempt to shore up his cratering poll numbers. They have gotten so bad that the NAACP has started referring to him as the “first Hawaiian president.”

His appearance on The View marked only the second time a sitting president has appeared on a daytime TV show.  However, it did not mark the third time Barbara Walters has appeared on a sitting president.

I feel like I want to rescue Elisabeth Hasselbeck when I see her trying to get in edgewise a sensible word on a show where, like most TV programs, liberals outnumber conservatives 5 to 1. Admittedly, I do watch The View some, now that Rosie O’Donnell has left the cast. Before her exit, I just could not bring myself to watch, mostly because I felt so sorry for that couch.

Men will watch a show with women in it for only two reasons: They think there is going to be a cat fight or they think someone might get naked. The View falls into the former category, since, except for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the latter would make us cringe.

The uber-liberal and chalkboard-scratching musings of Joy Behar get on my last good nerve. I am hoping that the cap on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill holds so that BP will try to install one on her next.

Whoopi Goldberg has, surprisingly, come to be a voice of reason on the show, and I like her. She is the Justice Anthony Kennedy of The View, deciding all the tough matters from the middle — like the proper way to moisturize and who wore the best outfit at the Oscars.

Obama did his standard lamenting about all the trouble he inherited, opening with his usual “Blame Bush” shtick. The only non-fawning, legitimate question came from Hasselbeck when she asked him why his stimulus package did not create many jobs. That awkward moment was cut short when Joy Behar rubbed his knee and asked him why his stimulus package is so much bigger and more effective than the Republicans’.

After making more TV appearances and videos than Lady Gaga in his first year interning as president at the White House, Obama has decided to take a different tack in appealing to women. Women viewers and shut-ins, who otherwise would be in the throes of being taken advantage of by the Home Shopping Network or being pitched by a local plaintiff’s attorney, are now his target audience. If explaining macroeconomics on The View works for him, he should make a guest appearance on Grey’s Anatomy to explain the 2,000-page ObamaCare bill.

He wants to show that he is in touch with the “common” man, but makes no mention of why his wife, Michelle, booked thirty 5-star hotel suites in a ritzy Spanish hotel this week on the taxpayer’s dime.  We all know the Obamas scorn greed and ostentatious spending — by others.

It was a frenzied week for the cast of The View. Between “Teen Beat” heartthrob Obama being on the show and the Chelsea Clinton nuptials, they had to be in People Magazine-mode overload. Hard-hitting questions about the Clinton wedding, like what Bill and Hillary told the newlyweds about the secret to a long and successful marriage, needed to be answered on The View. I think they told Chelsea the keys are separate homes in different states, long diplomatic trips overseas, and very loyal Secret Service agents who were preferably ex-Arkansas State Troopers.

Sadly, too many Americans are watching The View, ET and American Idol to make an informed decision on whom to vote for in elections, which explains Obama’s victory and a Congress controlled by the Democrats since 2006.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or  visit RonaldHart.com.