JACKSONVILLE — Here I am in Jacksonville.
My assignment: Write a column about a player who had two carries for 2 yards.
And make it good. Make it exciting. Make it bigger than life.
OK, then, here we go:.
Tim Tebow returned to his hometown of Jacksonville Sunday and gained 2 yards — the 2 greatest yards in NFL history — to lead the Denver Broncos to a 24-17 near-victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Well, that’s about it.
Good night everybody.
What’s that, boss? You need 17 more inches?
Now I know how it feels to be part of the South Korean media horde dispatched to the Masters to cover Y.E. Yang. Seriously, what do you write about a guy who finishes in 59th place?
When it comes to Tim Tebow, it doesn’t matter how much or how well he plays, he is not only a story; he is THE story. If only he had given us something to work with Sunday. If only he had barreled over Jags first-round draft pick Tyson Alualu for the winning touchdown and said afterward, “You know what Alualu means? That’s Hawaiian for, ‘Jags picked the wrong guy!'”
If only he had stood up after the Broncos’ defeat Sunday in his NFL debut and tearfully pledged, “To the fans of Bronco Nation, I’m sorry. I’m extremely sorry. I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come of this. You will never see any player in the entire NFL hold a clipboard as well as me the rest of the year! God bless.”
To say Tebow’s first game was non-eventful would be an understatement. At one point, the game was delayed 33 minutes because of lightning. Obviously God was unhappy with Denver coach Josh McDaniels for not playing Tebow more.