George Lucas is an evil, evil man

Justin Duckham Contributor

Star Wars creator George Lucas has recently completed a thirty-three-year transformation from gifted filmmaker to the dark-side personified.

His abysmal creative output during the last decade, wherein he continually raised and dashed the hopes of moviegoers, brought him perilously close to this landmark; this week’s report that he will give all six of his Star Wars films a high-tech makeover has finally sealed the deal.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lucas plans to release one installment of his franchise each year beginning in 2012. Yes, this may be the third time some of these films have been released theatrically, but there’s a catch. Apparently inspired by Avatar, and likely the nearly $3 billion it made at the box office, Lucas plans to rerelease the movies in 3D.

For moviegoers, this announcement is bittersweet. The last three Star Wars films Lucas released were panned by audiences and critics alike. Still, many Americans harbor a soft spot for the original trilogy, and seeing them in 3D is a pretty tempting concept. You’d think that these fans would be able to skip the lousy three and only go see the good ones.

However, in a testament to Lucas’ evil genius, it isn’t that simple.

The Hollywood Reporter notes that the release of the entire franchise relies on the condition that box office returns for the first installment, in this case the awful Phantom Menace, are worthwhile.

Not satisfied with making an easy buck, Lucas is essentially holding the goods hostage. The message to fans is clear: cough up the $14 for movies that you couldn’t care less about, and then we’ll give you what you want.

It’s smart, but damn if it isn’t diabolical.

Justin Duckham is a Washington correspondent with the Talk Radio News Service. He was a music journalist in California before making the jump to politics. Justin was a member of UC Merced’s founding class and graduated with a degree in History and minors in American Studies and Philosophy.