If Oprah doesn’t promote your book, you might as well not have written one. Hell, you might as well not exist. Do you exist? Can you prove it? Have I seen you on Oprah? No, no I haven’t.
On that note, the author of the excellent Fly Fishing with Darth Vader throws book sales to the wind and busts on Oprah for contaminating the environment with her ego, doing a show on fishing with her best friend Gayle:
It seems that the winsome twosome was filming A Very Special Oprah in Yosemite National Park. As part of their camping-themed show, they went lumbering through the Merced River to scare fish half out of their wits with guides, camera crews, and the ever-present mouth-breathing gaggle of Oprah cultists in tow…
As an avid fly fisherman, my protest isn’t primarily that I’m against Oprah enjoying herself on the water, though I am, since I regard her as a war criminal, and war criminals should not be entitled to such pleasures. While she might not be Pol Pot or Slobodan Milosevic, failing to have slaughtered millions of innocents, Oprah has waged a quarter-century war on good taste. The Butcher of Belgrade, for all his faults, is not responsible for unleashing Rachel Ray, Dr. Phil, and Dr. Oz on an unsuspecting, easily-led public. Oprah is.
Now that Labash has cut off a potential revenue stream (pun fully intended), it’s up to me to help him out. You should buy Fly Fishing with Darth Vader because I’m recommending it. It will make you a better person. I’m still waiting for the change to happen myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to. Buy the book and read it. Or Oprah wins. Alright, she wins anyway because she’s Oprah, but consider it a protest vote.