Repeatedly Refusing Money
A Play in One Act
By James F. Treacher
(A darkened stage. A lone spotlight appears. MAN 1 walks into it from stage left. MAN 2 walks in from stage right. They face each other.)MAN 1
Hello. Here is a check for 5 million dollars.MAN 2
Hello. No thank you.MAN 1
I don’t think you understand. This is 5 million dollars.MAN 2
You have made yourself clear. Thank you, but no.MAN 1
Here, take it.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Take the money.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
I am offering you a very large amount of money. Please take it.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Yes.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Yes.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Will you just take the money?MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Come on.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Please?MAN 2
No.MAN 1
I’ll be your friend.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
You’re turning down the money?MAN 2
I’m turning down the money.(They stare at each other for a moment.)
MAN 1
Take the money.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Take.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
The.MAN 2
No.MAN 1
Money.MAN 2
No, no, no, no, no.MAN 1
Take the f***ing money!MAN 2
[long pause] No.(From stage left, WOMAN appears. She walks over to stand next to MAN 2.)
WOMAN
What’s going on here?MAN 2
He’s trying to give me a large sum of money.WOMAN
You didn’t take it, did you?MAN 2
No.WOMAN
You didn’t give the slightest indication that you had any interest in ever ever ever taking it, did you?MAN 2
No.WOMAN
Whew.(All three face the audience and bow. Spotlight fades. THE END.)
That’s how you repeatedly refuse money, NPR.
P.S. Larry O’Connor at Big Journalism asks:
Here’s a question for the ever-curious Journolistas: If Ex-CEO Vivian Schiller was truthful when she claimed that NPR “repeatedly rejected” MEAC’s donation, why did she send an e-mail to “Omar Kasaam” asking him to answer “a few questions” and that she “look(ed) forward to hearing back from (him)” on Saturday March 5th, only three days before the Project Veritas videos hit the internet?
That seems like a fair enough question. Can’t wait to see how they dodge it!