He has been the first crybaby-in-chief, the first gasbag-in-chief, and the leader of Gasbagistan.
He is now the first computer-in-chief.
No longer is he BHO or even BHMO, the adorable cherub Barack Hannah Montana Obama.
He is now BWO: Barack Watson Obama.
The president of the United States is a computer. Computers have defeated humans at chess and game shows. Now one truly is running the world, albeit badly.
Picture what would happen if Dr. Spock mated with original IBM hardware.
It was funny when Alfred E. Neuman asked, “What, me worry?” but the 2011 version with the funny ears and the condescending tone is no laughing matter.
Supporters made excuses for him. They denied that he was cold and clinical. He was cool, calm and collected. Everything about him was cool. He was a cool cat, too cool for school, but always prepared.
Except he was not.
Computers can spit out data but they cannot show empathy. They simply do not feel stuff.
Enough politeness. President Barack Obama simply cares about almost nothing and nobody. He doesn’t give a damn. He enjoys his life on the golf course and filling out his college basketball bracket without a care in the world. That is because he does not care. Caring is an emotion.
This is not about a man and his hobbies. If Mr. Obama wants to publicly go out of his way to try and convince people that he is a guy’s guy, the worst he can be accused of is protesting too much. Being effeminate is not a crime.
This is about the fact that symbols matter.
Ronald Reagan understood how to reach people’s hearts. Bill Clinton was obsessed with showing people he felt their pain. His insincerity was irrelevant. He understood that showing compassion mattered.
Barack Obama may be a sincere man, but he is sincerely ice cold.
The world is burning. He needs to show the world he cares. He gave a good two-minute statement on Japan before switching to green energy.
He has been dreadful on Libya. People are getting shot to death while he relaxes.
Remember 9/11? Remember when George W. Bush hugged those firefighters?
Remember Bill Clinton hugging people after Oklahoma City? I remember one Republican woman telling Mr. Clinton how glad she was that he was there.
Barack Obama does not have to start hugging people for the cameras, but at some point he may want to consider proving to America that he cares about anything outside of his three priorities of education, the environment/energy, and healthcare.
He went on television and said he needed to know “whose ass to kick.” Yet he said it in such an icy manner that it made the average guy in the bar wonder if President Obama has ever kicked anything other than the can down the road on serious policy issues.
I am sure that Mr. Obama loves his wife and children. His success as a husband and father is well respected.
Yet many other families are hurting, and he keeps trying to change the subject.
High-speed rail is irrelevant if people do not have a job or a reason to take a trip.
Green-collar jobs do not matter when white- and blue-collar jobs are in short supply.
America is living on borrowed financial time and he insists on implementing a bankrupting version of utopia.
He weighs in on the rights of union workers without condemning the ones engaging in violence or issuing death threats.
He waxes poetic on Israelis and Palestinians living in peace while having nothing of value to say on the murder of an entire Israeli family by a Palestinian. A three-month-old baby was murdered, and Mr. Obama could not find words of consolation.
Thousands of Japanese people are suffering, and Americans are supposed to accept that President Obama is doing something just because he says he is and his water carriers in the liberal media back him up.
The guy is not evil. Evil requires emotion. He is just unfeeling, uncaring, and uninterested in virtually everything. The suffering all around him is an inconvenience for him.
Like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, perhaps he just needs a heart. Even a 1984 Jarvik 7 original artificial heart would be an improvement.
Yet the problem is not that a cold, heartless man is running this country. The real issue is that his deepest supporters are even colder and less caring.
As the domestic economy fails to provide jobs and American foreign policy emboldens our enemies and castigates our friends, the elites in this country share Marie Antoinette’s sentiments about letting the peasants eat cake.
The elites are a lost cause, but maybe one day Mr. Obama will develop humility and empathy. First he needs to develop humanity.
For once, President Obama may wish to say — and do — something that matters.
The man vacillates between empty words and no words at all.
It is long past time for him to offer the right words in the right tone at the right time with the right temperament and mean it.
After 9/11, George W. Bush did not need a teleprompter when he called out to that crowd and picked up that bullhorn. He said what was in his heart. Americans rallied around him.
The presidency can be isolating, and it seems like President Obama is slipping deeper and deeper into isolation.
Unfortunately, this may be exactly how he wants it.
If this view was wrong, at some point he would make an effort to dispel it. Then again, computers can only regurgitate stuff inputted by others. They cannot make an effort.
The first computer-in-chief would be a joy to watch on Jeopardy.
Yet with the world in jeopardy, there is no joy in watching our first computer-in-chief in permanent shutdown mode.
Eric Golub is a Brooklyn-born stockbrokerage and oil professional living in the People’s Republic of Los Angeles. His blog is the TYGRRRR EXPRESS and his three books are “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” His interests include politics, football, the stock market, and Republican Jewish brunettes.