DC Trawler

TheDC Morning: John Edwards doesn’t want Anthony Weiner to have all the fun

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1.) Weiner tries to close gate — When Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) takes his ball and goes home, that means he doesn’t want to play anymore. If you keep trying to play, he’s going to tell on you. Yesterday he gave the shortest press conference of his career, eyes downcast, telling reporters: “Yesterday, I think from 1 o’clock to almost 10 o’clock, I sat down and did interviews with anyone that wanted, and answered questions extensively. Made it very clear I did not send, uh, picture, that my Twitter account had been hacked, and this prank apparently has been successful. But after hours, almost 11 hours of answering questions, any, that anyone wanted to put, uh, today I’m gonna have to get back to work doin’ the job that I’m paid to do. So I appreciate your patience and understanding, and if I can do anything to make you more comfortable while you’re sitting out here in the hallway, uh, please let me know.” What a nice guy! He certainly made reporter Marcia Kramer from CBS 2 in New York comfortable. When she visited his office yesterday and asked to speak to him, he called the Capitol Police on her. That’s the thing about Rep. Weiner: If you “hack” or “prank” him and commit a federal crime, he’s willing to let bygones be bygones. But if you keep asking him questions about it, THAT’S when he calls the cops.

2.) Dems leave Weiner to cook — At least Weiner knows his fellow Democrats are standing behind him. Way, way behind him. Out of camera range. AP: “Publicly silent, fellow Democrats privately seethed Thursday over the distraction and furor surrounding the lewd photo sent from Rep. Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account, even as he declared he was finished talking about it and wanted to move on… Though generally mum in public, Democrats privately fumed at the forced detour in their arguments about Medicare and spending, leaving the generally well-liked seven-term congressman from Brooklyn and Queens largely to fend for himself for a third day in a row… A scene on the House floor Wednesday afternoon seemed to highlight the situation. As newly elected New York Rep. Kathy Hochul was sworn in… Weiner and the No. 2 House Democrat, Steny Hoyer were locked in a nearly 10 minute, animated conversation.” Gee, wonder what they were talking about?

3.) John Edwards doesn’t want Anthony Weiner to have all the fun — It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get charged on Friday! AP: “Criminal charges are likely to be filed Friday against John Edwards, the culmination of a two-year federal investigation into money used to cover up his extramarital affair during the 2008 presidential election. Edwards’ attorney Greg Craig was traveling to meet Friday with prosecutors in North Carolina, an indication that the former presidential candidate is likely to charged, either in a grand jury indictment or in a negotiated charge to which he would plead guilty.” Let’s take a look back, shall we? In July ’08, when it looked like Edwards might be able to wriggle out of the whole thing with the help of a sympathetic media, he said: “I’ve responded, consistently, to these tabloid allegations by saying I don’t respond to these lies.” At that point his daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter, was 5 months old.

4.) Chuck Schumer misses Dick Wolf — No time for distractions, people of New York. Your elected representatives have important work to do. Like reviving old, tired TV shows that got cancelled because everybody stopped watching them. TheDC’s Laura Donovan reports that Chuck Schumer wants Law & Order to be filmed in NYC again. His statement: “With Law & Order, there are two separate yet equally important ingredients for success: the plot lines, which provide the drama, and New York, which provides the backdrop for hundreds of stories ripped right from the headlines.” Get it? That’s like what they say on the TV show! Schumer goes on, as he tends to do: “Now that the L.A. experiment is over, it’s time to bring Law & Order home to New York, where it belongs.” Sounds good. Rip those headlines! First return episode: a pugnacious New York congressman, let’s call him Tony Frankfurter, sends a picture of his genitals to a college girl and claims he was hacked…

5.) NYT now run by woman lady girl person who is female — Congratulations to Jill Abramson of the New York Times, who yesterday was promoted to Executive Editor. She’s replacing Bill Keller, who is resigning but will continue to write excruciating essays for the NYT Magazine about how back in HIS day, candy cost a nickel and you didn’t need no dagblasted Twitter. Upon accepting the job, Abramson said, “In my house growing up, The Times substituted for religion. If The Times said it, it was the absolute truth.” Which is funny in its own right — how revealing can you get? — but even funnier when you consider that the NYT scrubbed the quote when everybody started mocking them for it. All the News That’s Fit to Not Make Us Look Like the Arrogant, Sheltered Dilettantes We Are.

6.) Mitt Romney is running for president — Yep. Mitt Romney sure is running for president, alright.

VIDEO: Weinergate gets the Next Media Animation treatment

Jim Treacher