Get the laugh track ready: Jeff Foxworthy to stump for Mitt Romney in Deep South

David Martosko Executive Editor
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A press release Sunday from the presidential campaign of Mitt Romney announced three Monday campaign events in Mississippi and Alabama where “Blue Collar Comedy Tour” comedian Jeff Foxworthy will stump for votes with the former Massachusetts governor. The comic, an Atlanta native, first tweeted his endorsement on Thursday.

Foxworthy is best known for turning “You might be a redneck” one-liners into an eight-figure salary, and for hosting the television quiz show “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?”

Romney attended the exclusive Cranbrook School in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. before moving on to Stanford and Brigham Young Universities and completing a Mormon mission trip to France. His eight-figure salary came from the fortune he built in private equity as the founder of Bain Capital.

The lone Alabama event will take place at the Whistle Stop Bar & Grill in Mobile.

The Mississippi events will be at Shaggy’s Bar & Grill on Biloxi, and at Empire Truck Sales in the town of Richland, a suburb of Jackson.

With Newt Gingrich predicting victories in both states’ GOP primary elections Tuesday, Romney is expected to leverage Foxworthy’s talents for a frontal assault on the former House speaker.

The Daily Caller has obtained what is probably not an advance copy of Foxworthy’s remarks:

If you’ve ever asked a woman to marry you while you were on your way to sign your divorce papers … You might be a Gingrich.

If you’ve ever promised to build a base on the moon while your country was too poor to pay the interest on its debt … You might be a Gingrich.

If you’ve ever promised gas would cost $2.50 a gallon while simultaneously antagonizing the Arab world by calling Palestinians an “invented” people … You might be a Gingrich.

If you’re a father of two who has called child-labor laws “truly stupid” … Chances are you’re a Gingrich.

If your wife’s hair can double as a GI Joe helmet … You might be a Gingrich.

If you’ve ever let GOP strategists talk you into making a global warming ad with Nancy Pelosi … You might be a Gingrich.

TheDC was unable to confirm that the jokes came from Foxworthy. It’s entirely possible, but equally unlikely, that they were planted by Larry the Cable Guy, Ron “Tater Salad” White, and Bill “Here’s your sign” Engvall — none of whom have endorsed a Republican in the race.

UPDATE: This article was updated after publication to reflect that the Alabama Republican Party did not delete a notice about the Foxworthy event from its website’s calendar. “It’s still on there. We just realized that it was posted twice, so we removed one of them,” a representative told TheDC on Tuesday.

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