The media’s top 10 post-debate story lines

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In a few days, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will meet in Denver for the first of three presidential debates. To the national media, however, these debates are a mere formality — nothing more than a means to promote their pre-existing narratives. Other than the specific details, the media has had their post-debates story lines set up for months.

So without further ado, here’s a sneak preview of the top 10 media story lines you will read about after the debates:

1.) Romney is a huge liar. With prominent media pundits such as Paul Krugman and Andrew Sullivan having already declared Romney the biggest liar in the history of American politics, it is hardly surprising that Romney set the all-time record for lies in a presidential debate.

2.) Romney is “out of touch” with most of the country. Romney appearing alongside Obama, a man of the people, only served to remind everyone that Romney is a multi-millionaire who enjoys firing people.

3.) Romney’s big gaffe. Much like the rest of his “gaffes,” Romney’s debate gaffe has “devastated” his campaign and “destroyed” his presidential hopes.

4.) Romney finally forced to address the important issues. Romney wasn’t able to duck the real issues affecting our country, such as his old tax returns.

5.) Romney is beneath the dignity of the presidency. Much like Romney has proven time and again with his ugly and shameful presidential campaign, his disrespectful debate performance demonstrated that he is beneath the dignity of the Oval Office.

6.) Romney’s time advantage. As a sitting president, Obama didn’t have as much time to prepare as Romney did. As such, Obama performed better than it would otherwise appear.

7.) Romney is unlikeable. If it wasn’t already enough that Romney is out of touch with the general public, the debate also confirmed his “unlikeability.

8.) Romney is not ready for prime time. Much like Romney’s “unprecedented” criticism of the Obama administration in the aftermath of the Middle East embassy attacks, Romney’s debate performance demonstrated that he is not ready to become president.

9.) Romney did not provide “specifics.” None of Romney’s proposals contained enough specifics. At least nothing as specific has “hope,” “change” or “forward.”

10.) Romney’s lackluster performance. As the most skilled debater since Cicero, Romney failed to live up to expectations.

Mendy Finkel is a corporate attorney practicing in New York. He is a graduate of Columbia Law School.