BEDFORD: Guess how drunk we got instead of Valentine’s Day?

Christopher Bedford Former Editor in Chief, The Daily Caller News Foundation
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Does anyone know how much, on average, it costs to “get lucky” on Valentine’s Day?

It costs 218 bucks.

So that got us thinking (which is always dangerous) — why don’t we just spend that cash on whiskey, beer and chocolate?**

Bulleit 10-Year Bourbon, Brooklyn Breweries Dry Irish Stout, and Sam Adams’ New Albion Pale Ale, Alpine Spring and chocolates, to be specific.

And before anyone gets all up in arms over how we’ll never meet any classy ladies with that attitude, they should ask themselves a question: When is the last time they wooed a girl with a giant teddy bear or flowers? Here at The Daily Caller, we know a secret: What the ladies want is whiskey. And beer. And chocolates.

So let’s get started.

**(This Valentine’s Day experiment conducted by a professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt.)

The Whiskey

As the old adage goes, “the reason for the season is pleasing,” so let’s start with the whiskey: Bulleit 10-Year Bourbon.

On the nose, we caught banana, with a little pecan pie. And on the tongue,  it’s molasses-sweet, with a strong kick and a touch of vanilla. And speaking of kicks, this liquor weighs in at a healthy 46.1 percent alcohol (or 91.2 proof).

This is a strong whiskey from a company who has made a name for themselves distilling strong whiskeys, and while it was too strong for a couple guys in the room, our date actually loved it. We’d suggest trying it neat first, but if that warms anyone up too much, we wouldn’t protest adding one ice cube.

This whiskey is headed for public release soon, and will retail at $44.99, which is a bet hefty but hey — it’s a holiday.

The Brews

When is one type of beer enough? When that’s all we have, I guess. But since we had all this Valentine’s Day cash, we splurged.

Samuel Adams’ New Albion Brewing Company’s New Albion Ale

Why the long name?

Because the New Albion Brewing Company is long gone.

One of the first craft brewers in modern American history, New Albion was founded in Sonoma, California by Jack McAuliffe in 1976. He had been inspired by all the beers he’d seen in Scotland while serving in the U.S. Navy. And his project inspired a lot of beer nuts around the country and, along with Anchor Steam, helped put good beer back on the map. Sadly, though, his company only survived for six years.

So Jim Koch of Samuel Adams snatched up the recipe and, with McAuliffe’s help, made another batch for the first time in 30 years — even using the same yeast, which the University of California had preserved.

New Albion is hazy in color, like an unfiltered wheat, and on the nose is yeasty, with sweet fruits and a touch of bitterness.

As banal as it sounds, the first thing we thought when we tasted this historic brew is “that’s good beer.”

It’s easy drinking, but distinguished. Grassy, with sour dough on the fade and a fizzy bite from the heavy carbonation, New Albion isn’t like the highly-hopped ales we’re used to, and we like that just fine. It’s a good drinking beer that would go fine by itself, but we wouldn’t hesitate to light up the grill and cook some chicken, either.

Available nationwide as of last month, a 6-pack goes for $7.99 and is 6 percent ABV. And here’s the best part: All of the profits are going to McAuliffe.

So if anyone gives us shit about drinking beers on Valentine’s Day, we’ll inform them that this, good sir, was for a good cause.

Samuel Adams’ Alpine Spring Lager

Next, we cracked into Sam Adams‘ new winter-spring brew, aptly named Alpine Spring.

An unfiltered lager, it has a thick, hazy, and slightly orange look. On the nose, we caught honey; and on the palate, a lot more pep than the color would suggest, with slight pepper and a slight citrus.

This brew is lighter than the average wheat, and we’d pair it with some spicy, barbecued shrimp.

At 5.5 percent ABV, this beer goes for $7.99 a sixer.

Brooklyn Brewery’s Dry Irish Stout

This brew is black as night. Darkness, for real, with cocoa on the nose.

But to taste, surprisingly light, considering the color. With molasses notes and a bit of a fizz, it has a sharper mouth-feel than most American stouts, reminiscent of a Caribbean Guinness Export and really very good.

We’d pair the guy with morning drinking and corned beef and hash.

And speaking of morning drinking and other romantic activities, it’s Valentine’s Day, so let’s get to the chocolates.

TCHO’s PureNotes Dark “Chocolatey” (70 percent cocoa)

So here’s where we get to the holiday and attempt to redeem ourselves with our girlfriends.

Essentially, chocolate man Brad Kintzer and the gang at Sam Adams figured out that the bitter-sweet, roasted malt and caramel notes in the TCHO bars paired perfectly with a Samuel Adams Boston Lager. And we agree. This stuff beats the Godivas of the world, and will be sure to impress the ladies.

So enjoy the night and when deciding just how hammered to get, remember what we said: The reason for the season is pleasin’.

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